Notes and Notions.

New Zealand Graphic, Volume XXII, Issue XIV, 8 April 1899, Page 449

Notes and Notions.

(By

our Flippant Flaneur.)

One had thought that the ‘marriage a failure’ and ‘free-love’ agitation was as dead as Queen Anne, and about as little likely to be revived as that amiable sovereign. But apparently there are still people who think the question getting excited over, and in Christchurch a very heated newspaper controversy has been (and is, X believe) going on under the sensational heading, ‘The Immorality of Marriage.’ 'i’he so-called reformers, who want us to bind ourselves by no legal or religious marriage contract, but to separate freely when the union and cohabitation becomes irksome, do not now seem to have anything new to say. The old story, the old contention, that good men and women would remain faithful and act just the same if they were free and unfettered by marriage lines, is brought forward once more; and once again we are treated to stories of the degradation of loveless marriages, and the awfulness of unions where love has been killed by some past nuptial disillusionment. These marriage reformers’ idea of marriage is very poetical, very nice, very high minded. It possesses attributes and conveniences, which must appeal to all, but it is impracticable, and there’s an end to it. If this were Arcadia, and human nature ceased to be human nature, it might prove successful and even elevating. But it has no pla.ee in our work-a-dav world.

It presupposes a state of morality which does not exist, and takes for granted that men and women marry for other reasons than they do. If free-love marriages are to be successful there must be mutually what is called a ‘grande passion,’ and, as Stevenson justly says in ‘Virginibus I’ueresque,’ not one man or woman in

a hundred knows what a ‘grande passion’ is. In ninety-nine cases out of a hundred husbands and wives love each other in an easy, comfortable kind of way, which, after marriage, not (infrequently settles gradually down into friendliness or companionship, as the ease may be. But, if there were no binding contract, it is certain that in many cases people who, under the present laws live comfortably and contentedly, if dully, together, would begin to realise their boredom and take steps to relieve it. Xo doubt many men and women find the ordinary humdrum of respectable married life is wearisome in its way, but knowing it is not to be cured they make the best of it and are happy enough after all. Under the new order of things they would go off with a younger wife. To do so would only be human nature, male human nature, that is. Moreover, improvident and thoughtless marriages are common enough now, even with the awful possibilities of for ‘better or worse till death do us part,’ ever before us. Remove that terrible responsibility and marriage would become merely a pronounced flirtation with many. Also, marriage usually results in consequences, and, if under the new system, the husband and wife find the experiment unsuccessful, and, after the advent of, say, number five, agree to separate, who is going to provide and be responsible for "the pledges of affection ?’

Speaking of marriage and the desire to shuffle off its cares, there was a case at Clinton last week where a woman asked for a separation from her husband on account of cruelty and neglect. The case broke down hopelessly, and the agrieved lady’s counsel threw up his brief, for apparently the cruelty lay in the husband ‘going to balls’ without his spouse. When in the witness-box, the wife said ‘Heihusband was always out at dances without her,’ and she had told him he ■ought to stop going out to so many balls.’ The only ground she had for the charges against her husband in connection with other women was the way he had treated her. He wouldn't come home when he got the chance, and wouldn’t speak to her when he did come. She had only been to two balls with him since they were married. The husband said his wife was absurdly jealous and always ‘going for him’ for not paying her enough attention. The Magistrate before whom the ease was tried gave both parties a little lecture. There had no doubt, he said, been faults on both sides, but they ought to try and make it up. The wife had been a little to blame, and had jealousy on the brain. Jealousy was a thing that bit very deep and did a great deal of harm. She had doubtless listened to foolish people, and her husband may not have

had much patience with her. There should be give and take on both sides. On his suggestion, counsel agreed to meet outside and try and arrive at an amicable agreement between the parties. 1 presume the husband would agree to take her to a specified number of dances, and that this being so, she would promise not to be jealous any more, lint this just shows on what grounds people will try and separate even now. What would be the state of affairs under a ‘free love' regime?

An incident which occurred in the Southland district recently is apropos of Bret Harte’s oft-quoted estimate of Chinese character. A gentleman in business not a hundred miles from Cromwell (says the ‘Argus’), was collecting money, and amongst bis debtors was an innocent Celestial. On looking John up, however, he pleaded poverty, but the business man was not to be put off easily, and insisted with emphasis. ‘Don’t get angry; keep your temper,’ pleaded the Chinaman, deprecatingly; ‘it all li.’ But. said the now irate creditor, it’s not all right; I must have the money at once, as I’m going away. A broad smile illuminated the Celestial’s features, he had solved the question. ‘lt all li,’ he said, ‘when you be back?’ Not for five years, thundered the angry one. ‘Welly good,’ said John, triumphantly; ‘me pay yon then.’

One had never regarded the Premier as being a particularly sensitive individual, but apparently he is beginning to feel more tender as regards what people say of him than of yore. At New Plymouth the other evening he said it would soon be necessary to introduce a Slander of Ministers Corruption Bill. If they did not the people woidd probably find that violence would be resorted to, for it was certainly a very great temptation when a man had all that was dear to him taken away without compunction by men who, when driven into a corner, said it was only done for political purposes.

This sounds rather ominous, doesn’t it? Perhaps next session will prove too much for the patience of Mr Seddon. or some other Minister, and we shall hear of an adjournment to the Lobby to ‘fight it out.’ It really would enliven proceedings considerably, but who woidd stand up against the mighty Dick? The only chance would be to wind him.

But. by the way. Is (capitals, please. Mr Printer) Mr Seddon sensitive to criticism or not? In the same speech as the one in which he spoke about the Slander of Ministers Corruption Bill he referred to the narrow escape he had had at Wellington from a brick which fell while be was watching the alterations to Parliamentary Buildings, he said. ‘While on this subject, ladies and gentlemen. I might mention what might have been a very

serious matter to Mrs Seddon ami the children, and which has been looked U|kiii in some quarters as a rather good joke. I refer to that brick which fell from above. But. thauk God, I have a chest—(laughter)—which is impervious to any brick the Opposition can throw, and what keeps that chest so strong is the dear conscience within.’ (Kenewed laughter and applause.) The sentence is, as some of Dick's are occasional Iv. a

trifle involved, but it assuredly seems to convey that Mr Seddon is impervious to adverse remark. And yet, what about that Bill? 4 1 4 1 4From Wellington a correspondent writes: Dear Flaneur. —Have you heard the latest yarns from Club-land in the .Empire City? There is a promising counterjumper out of a position here at the present time. He is one of those youths who seem really brighter than they are. He had never been behind a counter before, but his good appearance won for him the place. He was to assist at the hosiery counter. The head of the department was absent, when a pretty young lady, wife of one of our prominent citizens, approached the new man. and remarked ’I bought some stockings here yesterday. and, if you please, I should like to change them.’ ‘Er yes'm,’ said the new chum, ‘but -er—hadn’t you better repair to the ladies’ toilet rooms on the floor above?' The absent-minded, irrepressible young man was retired permanently. + 4-4-The other story concerns a recent marriage, over which there lias been some talk, the young man's friends, who are in Society (with the biggest S). regarding it as somewhat of a mesalliance. It was being’ discussed at an afternoon reception at Thorndon ‘Yes, she's rather a nice girl, I admit.' said the hostess; ‘she's a verv nice girl, but—er —l should hardly think she'd be received in society.’ ‘Oh, she isn't.' rejoined an impulsive little woman from'the Hutt; ‘indeed. I'm told she’s been tatooed by nearly everyone in town.’ Taboo, or not taboo? Both these stories are at least ‘ben trovato,’ if even not perfectly veracious. which, of course. I do not doubt—but pardon the dark insinuation, have I not, years ago, heard something like the first before? 4 1 4 1 4" Hawera County Council have determined to compel peddlars to pay a substantial license fee. The matter provoked some rather interesting discussion, and several points of interest were raised. It was, for instance, pointed out that peddlars pay no rates and taxes, and can therefore compete unfairly with the tradesmen who have to do both. This is of course true, but the peddlar has the trouble

of carting round his pack, and for this labour may consider himself justified in taking a larger profit. The councillor who seems to me to hit the right nail on the head with regard to peddlars is a Mr McLean, who observed bluntly he was satisfied peddlars were a nuisance, for they sold inferior wares and took advantage of the credulity of women to get rid of their trash. Cr Forsyth said he had a better opinion of the shopping proclivities of the women of the county. He certainly had no objection to them plying their calling without tax. The voting was very close, opinion being very evenly divided as to the ability of Hawera ladies to hold their own and secure bargains from peddlars. Ultimately the clause to tax 'the man with the pack’ was carried by 5 to 4. Personally I should like to see the same tax levied in every county in the colony. The average peddlar is an Asiatic with very indifferent ideas of honesty. and the sham jewellery and rubbish he sells are no good to any one.

Some Nelson young fellows who went to Klondyke last year are finding pretty hard times while seeking the welcome nugget. Mr W. H. Taylor. who with several other New Zealanders has a ‘claim.’ in a letter home says that as he writes there are fourteen inches of snow on the ground, and that icicles form on their beards and moustaches, the additional appendages being very disagreeable. Dogs are the best animals of burden there, a good dog carrying 200 pounds weight of goods. The teams of dogs for sleighing purposes are all sizes, from one dog up to twelve. He and his New Zealand friend have a claim on Eldorado Creek, but have not got any of the precious metal out of it yet. It is slow work, owing to the ground being frozen so hard, and they have to keep fires going to thaw the ground as they dig. They have got one hole down 25ft., and another 12ft. Some of the men are working the claims for a certain percentage of the gold. Fresh meat is scarce; beef sells at Dawson City for 4/ per lb., and .mutton 5/ by the carcase. A fire in Dawson City consumed buildings worth a quarter of a million dollars. The papers greatly exaggerated the gold finds on the diggings. There are a great many Australians and New Zealanders on the diggings, but few of them have done anything. The temperature sometimes registers 44 degrees below zero. •*•■*•*

A lady teacher has written to the Taranaki Education Board, asking for permission to use 'the strap.’ She says: ‘J. being assistant teacher at the Central School, desire to call your attention and that of the rest of the Board members to the great difficulty in carrying on my work effectually without having the power to use the strap. 1 should not wish to use it to any great extent, but 1 should be able to do much better work if the children knew I could inflict punishment upon them for “disobedience,” “idleness.” and “continued carelessness.” ’

Mr Dempsey, the headmaster, wrote that Miss Evans’ request had his approval. It is, perhaps, unreasonable, but one doesn’t like the idea of assistant teachers—especially women —asking to use the strap. Surely, the power to send the delinquent up to the Head to be strapped, or caned, would meet all proper purposes. Hundreds of assistant - teachers manage well without the strap, ami enjoy the respect, as well as the affection, of their pupils. As a rule the less ‘stick’ the more order, and vice-versa. Of the merits or needs of this, or any other individual case. 1 can say nothing; but, speaking generally, we should set our faces against allowing assistant teachers the use of the strap, and (again speaking generally, and as a matter of principle) this rule should be specially observed with regard to lady teachers. It is not Hie province of a woman teacher to thrash a child, or oughtn’t to be.

Walking round the world for a wager, or for advertisement, will soon become as overcrowded a profession as any other. There are at present two individuals at the game in New Zealand, and about ten months ago 1 dropped across one in Sydney, ami read of another in Adelaide. The novelty of the business is lieginning to wear off. and no doubt these longdistance men will soon find a falling off in the voluntary contributions and

lecture receipts they receive. The latest of these world-walkers is an Oxford man. Mr Oliver Bainbridge to wit, and, being a well-looking fellow, he attracts much attention in his picturesque get-up. which, by the way, is that of a Bulgarian. lie left the General Post Office, London, in June. 1891, ami has done 46,218 of the 60,<X>0 miles he is to travel ‘without money or clothes.’ At least he was to leave without money or clothes, and to beg. borrow, or steal none en route. Mr Bainbridge is to write his adventures in four volumes, and has to finish his journey within six years from the time he started.

There are some things they understand particularly well in Christchurch. and one of them would appear to be refreshments. At least, so 1 judge from the following par from the local papers: —- ‘At the meeting of the Christchurch City Council last night. Councillor Gray protested vehemently against an item of £l2 8/6 in connection with the recent annual visit to the Council reserves. He said that for a party consisting of twelve people the following bill of fare was somewhat excessive: — 1 dozen Bull-dog ale, 1 dozen cider in bottle, 1 gallon Kilmarnock whisky, 1 dozen each of soda-water, lemonade, and ginger-ale, and an allowance, in addition to luncheon, of 8J cigars and 20 cigarettes per man. He did not mind these rare functions being carried out in a fitting manner, but characterised such extravagance as monstrous. Councillor Kincaid said that as long as he was Chairman of the Works Committee, he intended that Councillors should be properly treated on the one day in the year on which they had an outing. ' If there was any disagreement on the subject he w-ould pay the amount himself. The account was passed, Councillor Gray being the only dissentient.’ All I have to say with regard to the above is that the Councillors must be men of great capacity and with excellent heads. A bottle of ale, a bottle of cider, half a bottle of whisky (to say nothing of ‘soft tack’), and so prodigious a number of smokes is no bad average.

There is a terrific ‘pow wow’ in educational circles in Nelson just now because a member of the local Board of Education made a remark (which he declares to have been jocular) to the effect that town teachers, in view of the superior results achieved by country cousins, ought to ‘bag their heads,’ or ‘put their heads in a bag.’ To the unprofessional mind, there is nothing so very- awful in a little chaff of this sort, but it simply horrified the Town Schools Committee in Nelson, and was characterised as ‘derogatory to the dignity- of a responsible body.’ Furthermore, the Bev. J. H. Mackenzie solemnly declared that ‘on any other occasion such language would have resulted in a breach of the peace.’ Goodness, gracious! Gracious, goodness! What pugnacious folk these Nelsonians be, and how easly is their dignity outraged. In any other place the ‘bag their heads’ remark would have passed unnoticed, but in Nelson it’s different. Dignity or death is evidently their motto.

The Devonport (Auckland) Ritualistic shindy—excuse the vulgar word—has attracted attention all over the colony. The difficulty is now ended !(qr they say so), and the lion Hee down with l the lamb, so to say, at Auckland’s ‘marine suburb.’ The opinions of Southern papers as to the anti-Ritualistic crusade are by no means invariably in favour of those who tackled the pastor and prevailed oil him to give up the offensive practices. For instance, speaking of the Northern Ritualistic crusade, the Oaniaru paper observes:—‘We suppose this pestiferous disease, like the hot fly and the rabbit, and the Californian thistle, and the codlin moth, has reached us by- misadventure. Possibly, a band of infected Home-made Christians have been inadvertently admitted to religious pratique and have sown the seeds of dissension; or may be it is simply the the incentive of bad example. There is never a Napoleon but has his little dummies in the out-of-the-way- corners of the busy world, ami Devonport has. nerchance. unearthed some village Kensit yearning

with undaunted breast to overthrow the pyx of Holy Trinity, tear off the pastor’s becoming vestments, extinguish the altar lights, and hurl the profane kist o’ whustles to the sharks, and to replace their decorativeness with the pinchbeck simplicity of bare walls and the unmusical discords of the unaccompanied congregational voice.

Sniffing, methought, his dew of Hermon With such content in every snuffle As the devil inside us loves to ruffle.

Nothing brings church-going in the abstract into greater disrepute than such ridiculous factious controversies as that at present raging in the Northern church, and nothing. among a certain class of church-goers, is more infectious. For everybody’s sake it is to be hoped that this imbecile exhibition will be promptly suppressed.’

In Dunedin Ben Fuller of Waxworks fame, got a capital ‘ad.’ out of an indignant parent, who protested in a letter to the ‘Star’ against the Deeming tableau in the waxworks, characterising the same under the heading of ‘An Offensive Exhibition.’ The wily showman promptly wrote an answer announcing that in deference to Pater’s letter the Deeming exhibit would be separated from the ordinary show and a small extra charge levied for seeing it. He further took occasion to guilelessly reinark that ‘in Auckland he had personally known women to pay- to see it over and over again, standing gazing at it spell-bound for fully half an hour at a time.’ Dunedin sub-editors are evidently ‘kindly,’ for this lovely ‘ad.’ was allowed to pass, and without doubt attracted hundreds of extra patrons. There is nothing like the newspaper controversy- for working up any- sort of ‘show- business.’ but most sub-editors wink the other eye when the showmen try it. They’ve all been there, many a. time, many a ttiime, as the old comic song had it. + 4- +

It is to be hoped that the alleged discovery of an egg preservative, which is absolutely infallible, and which will keep eggs fresh for centuries if need be is only half as valuable as it sounds and as the inventor claims. The discoverer of the new boon —for if it be as stated it will be a boon —is Mr J. D. Hansen, of Norsewood, Canterbury. He has sent some of his patently preserved eggs to the ‘Gov’ment,’ and asks £ 100 for his secret. This seems rather ‘tall.’ but not when you remember that if the new discovery is all that is claimed for it, the now uinsolvable problem of when an egg ceases to be ‘new laid’ and becomes fresh will cease to perturb an anxious public, for the ‘new laid’ article and the ‘fresh’ w-ill then be to all intents and purposes identical. The only persons who will remain unattracted by the discovery will be the Chinese, for according to legend (I’ve never seen a ease) your Celestial epicure prefers oysters that have been opened a week or so, and eggs that have been ‘ripened’ for a decade or thereabouts. When (if ever) I do see a Chinky- make a meal of these delicacies, I shall take care to keep on the windward side of him by a mile or so if possible.

Geraldine—not the party in the lugubrious ditty sung by tenor soloists —but the town of that name, is considerably more go-a-head than many larger places. By 103 votes to 7 it has decided to obtain a high pressure water system for domestic and fire extinction purposes. Christchurch by the way has failed to achieve this yet.

What will the votaries of the‘Sport of Kings’ not suffer in following the chase of the. alluring but illusive ‘divi.’ At the Whakataki-Castlepoint races ‘t’other day,’ the ardent sports from Masterton and the Wairarapa genet ally, not merely- endured au uninterrupted downpour of the ‘wet-10-the-skin-in-flve-minutes order’ all day, but in crossing the creeks several buggy loads of active ‘backers and layers’ were capsized, and pitched into the water. The local telegraphist remarks, with the genial optimism of a dry and comfortable individual, ‘no one was hurt; they merely had to stand shoulder high in the streams endeavouring to “right" their vehicles.’ That ‘merely’ is n distinctly happy effort.