THE ETIQUETTE OF INVITATIONS.

New Zealand Graphic, Volume XIX, Issue VIII, 14 August 1897, Page 254

THE ETIQUETTE OF INVITATIONS.

Every invitation demands acknowledgment. This is the first and most important rule requiring observance among well-bred people, in what is called society. The acknowledgment may be in the form of a note, or of a visiting-card sent either by messenger or, with equal propriety in this generation, by post, or by a card left in person on the occasion of a call of acceptance, as in the case of afternoon * Teas.’ The purpose of this article is especially to show the usual forms of invitation issued to various social gatherings, their proper acknowledgment, either of acceptance or declination, and the length of time which should elapse both in sending out invitations before a festivity, and between the receipt and acknowledgment of such invitations. In every case the courteous thing to do is the proper thing to be done, and it is safe to say that no one can ever err in being too courteous. The following rule may properly be called Rule II of the Department of Invitations in the Social Code : ‘ When in doubt be too much, rather than too little, courteous.’ Probably at the present day the most usual form of invitation, as the most usual form of entertainment, is that of and to the afternoon * Tea ’or* At Home.’ This entertainment may, and does range from the simplest to the most elaborate of entertainments, but the form of invitation has but two or three variations. One of these is the visiting card of the hostess, or if her husband is also to receive with her, their dual visiting card with their address engraved in the lower righthand, and the hours and date of their ‘Tea ’or ‘At Home,’ either written or engraved in the lower left-hand corner. As an example. MR AND MRS JOHN STANLEY BERWICK. Wednesday, October the eighteenth, four to six. 20, Woodland Square. or MRS JOHN STANLEY BERWICK. Wednesdays in October, four to six. 20, Woodland Square. For more pretentious affairs of this character, small double sheets of note paper, either x 3 inches or 5% x inches, engraved as follows, are used : MR AND MRS JOHN STANLEY BERWICK. MISS MILDRED BERWICK. At Home Wednesday afternoon, October the eighteenth, from five to seven o'clock. 20, Woodland Square. Invitations to any of these forms of entertainment are sent out from a week to ten days before the date set for the ‘ At Home or • Tea ’ —and demand one of two kinds of a reply. An acceptance is signified by leaving the necessary cards when attending the ‘ Tea,’ or by sending, either by post or messenger, to be received on the day of the entertainment, the same number of cards inclosed in a single card envelope, directed to the persons receiving. A word on the subject of the number of cards required in acknowledgment of such an invitation may be in place here. A married lady leaves one of her own cards for each lady announced as receiving, and oneof her husband’s cards for each lady and each gentleman receiving. This number of cards obtains also when an unmarried lady or a bachelor is sending or leaving cards. A single extra card may include any number of unmarried daughters, though if there is a married widowed daughter a separate card must be left for her as for her mother. The men of the family are only recognized by men’s cards. The rationale of this custom is easy to find : ladies call upon ladies, and men upon both ladies and gentlemen.