THE TALKING MAN.

New Zealand Graphic, Volume XVII, Issue VI, 8 August 1896, Page 191

THE TALKING MAN.

(BY

JOE BROWN.)

Dick Smith was a regular Yankee. He lived near us, and so he and I were very good friends. We went to Church on the Sunday evening and sang in the choir, but we were told after nearly every service that we did not sing up enough or answer the responses. One Sunday we went to Church as usual, and we did sing up to be sure ! then we were scolded for singing too high. All that week we went to school as usual, but Dick after school, instead of going for a paddle in the ' punt,’ kept hammering and sawing in his workshop. On Saturday afternoon he telephoned for me to come over to their place. Ashe had madeelectric lighting bellsand telephones all over their place, and one of the latter into

our place, he could telephone to me. I went over to Dick's workshop and saw him shaking hands with a liov who looked about ten. He was neatly dressed in one of Dick’s old suits. When I came in Dick introduced me to ‘ Master George Washington, of Chicago.’ I said, ‘How do?' and asked Dick what he wanted me for. He said. ‘ This is an invention of mine. He is a “ talking man.” ami is going to say the Church services for us on Sundav night. Catch hold of his hand and squeeze it; I’ll do the same with the other.’

Upon this the ‘ talking man ’ began to walk. After we had gone about two hundred feet. Dick let go his hand, and I followed his example and the ‘ talking man ’ trotted off alone.

Dick at once jumped on his back and pulled George Washington’s body right round. He then trotted off towards the workshop. Dick pulled his hair and he stopped at once. We then led him back to the shed. He behaved all right for five Sundays, but on the sixth some machinery went wrong. The ston brake broke, I think. Well, he would go on speaking. In vain we tried to stop him. I pushed two handkerchiefs down his throat. At last Dick took his knife and cut the speaking tube in his throat, at which he gave a gasp and did not move again When we got outside we set him homewards, then Dick gave him such a kick that he began running along the road (which goes straight for about half a mile) so fast that we (though good runners) could not catch up to him till he struck against a stone wall. Then there was an explosion. Dick has taken down all his electrical apparatus except the telephone leading in to our place. We are now busily engaged in making a canoe, in which to go fora long cruise in our Christmas holidays, which arenot so far distant.