PRECISELY AS STIPULATED.

New Zealand Graphic, Volume XVI, Issue XI, 14 March 1896, Page 308

PRECISELY AS STIPULATED.

A citizen with a swollen jaw was hastening along one of the principal streets of the city, when a sign in front of a tail building caught his attention. It was as follows :—‘ Painless extraction of teeth free.’ He stopped long enough to note the number of the floor on which the business indicated by the sign was carried on, and then hurried inside, and made his way to the dental parlours. * Is this the place where you pull teeth without pain free ?’ ‘ Yes, sir,’ said one of the painless extractors on duty. ‘ Well, I’ve got a grinder that’s been giving me a good deal of trouble, I wish you’d yank it out.’ The sufferer took his place in the chair and opened his mouth. The operator, after applying to the swollen gum a pungent lotion of some sort, speedily relieved him of the offending molar. ‘ Thanks,’ said the caller, climbing down and picking up his hat. ‘That will be half-a crown,’ remarked the dentist. ‘ Half-a-crown ?’ echoed the other. ‘ I thought it was free. That’s what you told me a minute ago, and its what you say on your sign.’ ‘Just so. Did it hurt you any ?’ ■ Yes, it hurt a little.’ 1 That's right. We do our painless extractions free, exactly as we claim. When it hurts we charge for it. Half-a-crown. please.’

Miss Priscilla Vane (of Chicago/ : ‘ And what is your brother doing, Lord Temple ?’ Lord Temple : ‘ I fancy my brother will take orders when he leaves Oxford.’ Miss Vane : ‘ Oh, why don’t you tell pa. he would take him as a traveller at once ?’