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New Zealand Graphic, Volume XV, Issue XX, 16 November 1895, Page 628

'Whit makes you think they are so madly in love ?’ *He has been three week* trying to teach her to play whist.* * You seem to be cultivating old Kajones, What do you see about him to admire?' ‘ His daughter Liura *

In a small town in the North of Scotland lives Joe C . an old shoemaker. For years Joe served the local commissioners faithfully as clerk, during which period he had the misfortune to lose hie right leg in a railway accident. As a mark of appreciation and esteem for his long service, the Commissioners unanimously agreed to replace bis want with an artificial limb, and acted accordingly. Joe, being an unfortunate individual, was thrown from a trap quite recently, and had his left leg broken. Of course, this was food for gossip, and one old woman, in discussing the matter, was overheard saying, * It’s a gey bad job for Joe, puir sowl ; but is t hie ain log or the yin that belongs tae the toon that’s broken.’ Physician : And you have felt this way for several days ? H’m. Let me see your tongue. Patient: It's no use, doctor ; no tongue can tell how I suffer. * What is the name of that man ?’ signalled one deaf mute to another. * It’s queer, but I can’t recall it,’ was the reply ; though it is right at my finger ends.’ City Boarder : Didn’t you advertise that you had plenty of fruit? Jerseyman : That's right. The old woman got over a hundred cans of it! He : * Mrs Swelltop certainly is a beautiful woman. .She carries all before her.’ She (spitefully): ‘Force of habit, I suppose. I hear she was a waitress before Swelltop married her.'