MEN’S DUTIES IN THE HOUSEHOLD.

New Zealand Graphic, Volume XIV, Issue VI, 9 February 1895, Page 139

MEN’S DUTIES IN THE HOUSEHOLD.

Men have a much greater responsibility in home-making than they are usually willing to admit. It is very much easier to shift such obligations upon the women and children of the family than to undertake what is really an arduous task.

Vanity, conceit, an exaggerated idea of his own importance, and a notion, fostered by partial and injudicious friends, that a boy is of much greater account in the world than a girl, have gone far towards developing in the minds of men the belief that home and the wife and family are somewhat of the nature of soothing elements, and should be always ready and waiting hie return or demand, in the same way as he looks for his easy- *.bair or bis dinner. The smile, the kind word, the cheerful rooms, the dainty and relishable dinner, the artistically spread table, the orderly children with clean faces and carefully arranged toilets, the wife and mother faultlessly dressed and environed with the atmosphere of temporal and spiritual peace which is by far the most important factor in a well regulated home—these have become so much a matter of course that many men take them for granted, and seldom realise at what cost of time, trouble and discipline they are secured. Many a mistress of a household has complications and vexations to contend with that are far more intricate and taxing than the most arduous duties of office or countingroom. Indeed, the two can scarcely be compared in the amount of nervous force and mental and physical wear and tear necessary in their management. When the balance sheet is all right and every column and item tallies exactly, there is a long sigh of relief. That work is done for the present and is put away with the certainty that it will be found all right when called for. The cash deposits are made, the invoices are examined and figures are verified, and the mind is free to indulge in speculations and projects, and visions of extended financial operations in the* near future. The details of business, once properly arranged, may be made almost mechanical, as most things can be which live and move and have their being on strictly mathematical principles. But in the family there is no regularity. Nothing is or can be systematic save the impossibility of applying systematic principles to the daily work in hand. Arrangements are made for a dinner or a house-cleaning. A child is taken ill or meets with an accident, and the mother’s entire time and attention may be demanded for days and nights, almost without opportunity for sleep, food or rest, and the dinner is abandoned, of course. Preliminary steps are taken toward some very necessary house-cleaning', when a note announces the arrival of guests, which brings everything up with a round turn. A drive or an excursion is planned, when the housemaid strikes or the cook is found in a state of maudlin unconsciousness in the midst of her pots and pans. The successful housekeeper must possess executive ability of a high order, and must, of all qualities, be mistress of the faculty of being able to turn sharp corners, and meet, at least without visible perturbation, the most startling emergencies. If the average man would for a little time study this complex phase of life which he seems to consider of so little account, he could not fail to see that housekeeping and housewives deserve more consideration than they ordinarily receive, and that making home happy is not as easy a task as it appears to the careless observer to be. The busband and father, and the son and brother as well, have their duties and responsibilities, and to shift them upon the housemother is not only unkind but cruel. The man who has never tried it will find a most interesting revelation in a generous, thoughtful attempt to share some of the burdens of daily life, and to exert himself to make things as agreeable and comfortable as possible. Even though his motive be an entirely selfish one, he will find such attentions profitable in the additions he will realize to bis own ease and comfort.