THE PHONOGRAPH AS A SOCIAL BLESSING.

New Zealand Graphic, Volume XIII, Issue VII, 18 August 1894, Page 149

THE PHONOGRAPH AS A SOCIAL BLESSING.

THE true sphere of the phonograph had yet to be discovered. Tf r e have discovered it. Its rote is to help out Society in its poverty of conversation. It is an inestimable boon. No dull “ <4/ Homes ’’ —no bad quarters of an hour ! The brightest conversation always laid on—broken attempts at converse mended while you wait.

This is the way you do it :—ln the ball-room you fix pairs of phonographs wherepartners will stand for square dances, or sit after round ones. One phono has a bass voice, the other a treble. The pressure of the boots on the floor causes them to start a lively conversation—teeming with pleasant compliment, cheerful wit, lively repartee, a al intelligent discussion of passing events. The partners have merely to remain silent; though they should give a natural air to the arrangement by accompanying the dialogues 'with, appropriate gestures.' A staff of bright and intellectual conversationalists should be retained previously to speak into the machines—this would be done at Whiteley's, or wherever the machines are supplied from. Here is young Horney, while his phonograph delivers an intellectual criticism of the modern novel.

And here's our Vicar. He is receiving callers. The phono over his head had begun in a jesting stra in. The vicar promptly supplied the a ppropriatr action. Suddenly (through some errorh the machine glided into some horrible newspaper tragedy ; and our ciear hasn't noticed the difference.

Then you can have the denunciatory phono. There's Smiler who has one of a most objurgatory nature always fixed on his chair, ready for the visit of the tax-collector.

Of course there arc difficulties connected with all things. A unt Jane, from Scotland, nearly Jumped out of her skin on hearing the thing start. She says it's uncanny, and noguid will come of it. She's wrong! We mean to float a company to supply the New Boom.

You also fix the machines to the backs of dining-chairs. There Is old Trencherboy leery deaf). wholly unaware that he is t vieariousi y) reeilini) an impassioned poem to had y Ara minta.