THE USES OF BOOKS.

New Zealand Graphic, Volume XIII, Issue III, 21 July 1894, Page 72

THE USES OF BOOKS.

A HEAVY, well-aimed volume forms the best possible rejoinder to the clever young man who, with a self satisfied smile at the assembled company, is pluming himself on the fact that he has scored off you at last. Catch him in the middle of that smile with a good substantial volume of history ; let a ‘ Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire ’ decline and fall on his head, and nobody will be able to say that you were at a loss for words with which to eclipse his smartness. He is bound to take it pleasantly, however big a bump it may raise, and it will help to make him smart some more.

NOR ARE BOOKS USEFUL ONLY AS PROJECTILES. Peace finds them uses no less than war. It may happen to the noblest and most virtuous to be sometime or other brought into contact with other people’s children, and to meet with their lively disapproval. Other people’s children generally have a fine sense of humour, which they will not improbably show by whispering and giggling while they regard your essentially non-ludicrous physiognomy ; or perhaps they have ‘ such high spirits, you know,’ which means that they shoot you with peas or brush your hat the wrong wav. But wait; wait till it is dear Tommy’s birthday, ana then for a sweet and subtle revenge. Look out for some venerable goody goody book, and inscribe on the flyleaf, ‘ For dear Tommy, with best wishes,’ which same best wishes are sure to be realised. THAT WILL CHOKE HIM OFF HIS PEA-SHOOTER. If you gave him nothing at all he would not be disappointed, but to be the recipient of a • goody ’ book plunges the most hardened juvenile into depths of gloom. There will be no more giggling in your face. Little Tommy thought he had taken your measure, and hoped to make a man of you in time ; it bad not occurred to him before that you might be a well-meaning idiot. What a golden opportunity lost, and how impossible now to hint that you have not gauged bis tastes correctly. Thns he will regard you with a sorrowful wonder, perhaps dimly conscious that he has been checkmated for once.