THINGS' FROM THE EMPIRE CITY

New Zealand Graphic, Volume XIII, Issue II, 14 July 1894, Page 29

THINGS' FROM THE EMPIRE CITY

BY

THE AUTOCRATIC IDLER.

‘Captain Fritz -

* Captain Fritz, a musical comedy by the author of * Our Regiment, was presented for the first time in Wellington to a poor house

on Saturday by the Thornton-Arnold Comedy Company. The audience was not large, because the weather was most abominable, the rain pouring down (as it usually does on Saturday evenings) in torrents. The persons who were present gave so glowing an account of ‘Captain Fritz’ to their friends that a splendid audience witnessed the second representation of the piece on the following Monday. And the universal opinion seemed to be, firstly, that taken altogether, the performance was even more enjoyable than ‘ Charley’s Aunt ’ was, and was more humorous, more witty, and more talented a production than the Brazilian * nut secondly, that the company made a mistake in not producing ‘Captain Fritz’ earlier in the season; and thirdly, that the acting of Mr Charles Arnold as the German naval commander, and of Miss Dot Frederic as Sybil was simply perfect, and quite beyond the possibility of improving on. Little Jessie Mead, too, as Sir Geoffrey Vereker, aged eight years or thereabouts, quite pleased the assemblage, and Miss Agnes Knights as Lady Vereker, was graceful and ladylike. Captain Fritz controls a vessel in the German navy, but he seems to keep pretty well ashore, and not once indeed do we discover him on the quarter deck. Moreover, he is on English ground all the time, and manifests a very remarkable partiality for English songs, which he sings most melodiously with a broken accent. A scene between himself and Miss Dot Frederic, in which the latter teaches the words and notes of ‘ Lord Bateman,’ will not readily be forgotten by the crowded and fashionable bouse whom it so immensely delighted. Captain Fritz resembles an Irishman strangely in some things. He makes love, for instance, with all the ardour and impetuosity of an Irishman. The complimentary, flowery, and flattering nature of bis language subdues and melts the hardest as well as the softest of natures—a gift which was the especial talent of the Irishmen of the past decades—no man, be he son of Erin or other, could very much melt the bard heart of enfranchised women. So ornate and bewitching is the captain, indeed, that it is suggested during the progress of thedrama that he has kissed the Blarney stone—anyhow, he does a good deal of that sort of thing on very pliable clay. I was about to show in what further particular Captain Fritz resembled an Irishman—but the parallel fails at this point, or is only true if we say that the general effect of his presence, and of his actions is exactly the reverse of an Irishman’s. The son of Erin has a truly admirable facility for getting himself and everybody else with whom he has to do, into trouble ; and he usually does the wrong thing at the right moment, or the right thing at the wrong moment. Captain Fritz, on the contrary, always turns up in the nick of time, and averts all sorts of dangers and terrors by entering an appearance. There is a diabolical villain, of course, in this drama, and a stolen heir, whose doom is the bottom of the black pool, and there are contemplated deeds of darkness and depravity of no insignificant order. All these are duly squared end put right by Captain Fritz. The diabolical one is entirely circumvented by his simple bravery ; ths youthful heir is saved from the impending fate and the bottom of the pool, by the same agency—and the ludicrous love-making goes on between the Captain and Miss Dot, all the time. Perhaps one of the most amusing scenes in the drama is a lunch scene in the third act. The lunch is all the more absurd inas nuch as it is eaten by nobody, although prepared for a party of six. Altogether there are fourteen characters in Mr Henry Hamilton’s play, and I think I have mentioned the most prominent—all except a certain Corporal Soyer admirably pourtrayed by Mr Percy Brough. Miss Ada Lee as Dinah Wurzle, a servant, also deserves passing notice. The scenery of the fourth act, representing a gipsy’s encampment, was very effective.

How the World was Made ?

This somewhat puzzling question was answered, right off, by Mr W. W. Collins, M.H.R., at a lecture, with limelight effects, on Sunday evening at the Exchange Hall.

I went to hear Mr Collins for the reason that 1 was curious to see and to hear the agnostic which the Church of England and most cathedral city of Christchurch had put into Parliament. One can understand how the shoemakers of Northampton became enamoured of Mr Bradlaugh, but it does perplex one to find so evangelical a place as Christchurch selecting, of all men, an agnostic to represent them. One can only account for it by supposing or rather, concluding, that Mr Collins is no ordinary man and therefore I went to his lecture. He is not, I found, at all ordinary. He speaks well and learnedly—and that for a couple of hours, without note of any kind. It is unusual to find a member of Parliament a geologist—Mr Collins is one. He told us all about the periods ; and the millions of years, and the insects who built the white cliffs of Albion. He showed us the great creatures, like toads in everything but bigness, who croaked in a mighty forest of strange trees never gazed on by the eye of man, but levelled to the ground for all that, icons and ages ago. We saw the footprints of slimy and monstrous beasts, and the skeletons of huge and unwieldy birds, who have all been dead and gone for three hundred thousand years. Mr Collins showed us, too, how from the very first, nature has been ‘ red in beak and claw ;’ how animals, from the very first, fought with each other, and devoured each other, just as they do now; how, from the very first, the whole procedure has been a struggle and a contest, ending always in one wayending by the survival, not of the best, but of the fittest. And a great deal of the astounding statements and deductions of the learned lecturer, are, without the smallest doubt, true ! The fact is admitted now, beyond gainsay. With regard to other statements and deductions made by Mr Collins, I have only to say that they may, or may not, be true. It seems to me to be rather a curious thing to find an agnostic quite positive as to the precise way in which this queer world of ours came to be made ? An agnostic, as I understand that most mortal person, is one who cannot be very positive about anything whatever? I have long called myself an agnostic of this kind ; and it is my conviction that I belong to a very vast brotherhood in the regions of doubt—a silent brotherhood who think a good deal, and say little or nothing, like sensible, albeit worldly men. However this be, no man, and least of all, an agnostic, can be, at this stage, cock sure as to how the world came into existence. It may be true that—as Mr Collins says-our globe is but a bit of the sun, and that the moon is a bit of our earth. If the earth be a dropped-off, loppedoff, or cast off gaseous clip of the mass of sun, where was the law of gravitation at the time the earth was cast off. If the law of gravitation wasn’t in force at that awfully remote period, there could be no mass for the earth to be cast off from ? If the law of gravitation is eternal, how did the earth (to say nothing at all of Neptune) get so far away from the sun ; and how did the moon get so far away from the earth ? Then again, it is easy to trace the progress of development from the fern of the St. Lawrence B.C. thirty millions of years or thereabouts, and from the insect which built the stone which built Paris, to the gorilla of the African traveller of to-day. When we come to man, however, there is a dead stop and a distinct gap—it is absurd to deny it. We cannot bridge the gap, or set the process of development going, anyhow—not, at all events, with our present knowledge. I don’t say this from any intense admiration I have of man—l have no such admiration, and my opinion of the species, founded on a knowledge of men and some knowledge of myself, is not a high one. Man, nevertheless, stands there, alone all the time. If he resembles the ape or the gorilla or any other living creature, it is always with a distinct and emphatic difference which no amount of knowledge of any kind has yet been able to settle or reconcile.

„ „ Half An Hour In the House.

The interior of the New Zealand House of Representatives suggests no ideas of vastness, nor yet of lavish magnificence. It

is a comfortable, cosy sort of chamber, brilliantly lighted.

A ca; aclous gallery encircles all sides of the edifice ; and when fully occupied—as it generally is—by the beauty and fashion of Wellington, together with a considerable sprinkling of the ugliest faces in the metropolis, those upper regions remind one, somewhat, of the Opera House. However, such a sight is altogether too dazzling to look long on —but when one casts one’s eyes in the direction of the floor, one thinks no more of tragedy, comedy, or Madame De Vere Urso. I don’t know, I’m sure, what the lady’s gallery thought, last night, of the subject uuder consideration. It had nothing very attractive about it; but even such matters as the slaughtering of beasts and the wholesomeness of abattoirs can be so discussed as to afford some harmless amusement and a great deal of profitable instruction. The Premier moved the second reading of a Bill consolidating the laws under which cattle, sheep, and pigs were killed and eaten ; and providing for some necessary modifications of existing Acts relating to the same. I gleaned from his speech, and also from the speeches of several representatives who followed him, that legislation, as proposed, is absolutely essential. If, indeed, the half of what was said was true, it is about time that some consideration was given to the meat question, as it affects the community in general. The result of things as they exist now is, that any meat, so long as it is meat, is considered good enough for the New Zealander. The Jewish Rabbi rejects certain animals, as unfit for the food of the Jew ; these rejected animals immediately become carcases to be retailed to the Christian ! Steers (otherwise prime young bullocks) and the pick of the flock of sheep go to the freezing works. The tough old ewe, and the cow with the crumpled horn, and the beeves of a too certain age, are by no means fit for old country consumption—but they are sold, all the same : the New Zealander eats them. Also, he eats pork, and bacon, and even hams, grown in this country : I much prefer to observe a discreet silence as to how the pig was grown, and what he was fed upon. The Premier’s Bill was received with general commendation. Sir Robert Stout, however, objected to the praise bestowed upon it, and could not understand what the ‘chorus’ was about. For there was nothing new in the Bill ; the existing law provided for everything that the Bill provided for. And to some extent this was found to be true ; but the existing law, in many clauses, is a dead letter, and this Bill proposes to put life into what is now dead. A great many members showed an unexpected familiarity with the internal domestic economy of abattoirs. The member for Caversham stated he had a ‘ world wide ’ experience as to abattoirs: but he confined his observations relating to slaughter houses to two centres—Glasgow and Caversham. In Glasgow, he gave one to understand abattoirs, in the very heart of the city, were the very quintessence of sweetness and cleanliness. Mr T. McKenzie, however, rubbed out Caversham as a pleasing slaughtering place, and said the stench there, and the dirt, and the filth, and the drainage were abominable.

Major Harris’ * Firm Stand.’

Several of the Northern members are unexpectedly original and humorous. Mr ’ Crowther promises to give frequent specimens

of Auckland wit. The other day he was talking about the strong objection people had to the ‘ braying ’ of cows. • Asses you mean ?’ somebody said. ‘ No, sir, I don’t mean asses ; we have no donkeys up our way,’ said Mr Crowther. Major Hanis was pleasantly amusing just a while ago, when proposing tbatßellamy'sshould be abolished,as al’arliamentary institution; and the Premier,and even the Speaker,continued that relined and delightful banter which Major Harris so seriously introduced. He said the recently enfranchised and fair sex had written to him, complimenting him on the stand he had taken on this Bellamy question—and he cast his eyes over a letter which he held in his hand. The House was in a simmer of laughter, but Major Harris was as solemn as a judge. Then the Premier—also quite seriously—wanted the Speaker’s ruling as to whether the letter should not be made available to members, by being placed on the table? Major Harris said he had no objection to hand the letter to the Premier—only, he wasn’t sure he would get it back again ! The House fairly roaied at this ; and then Sir Maurice O'ltorke rose in the calmest and most dignified manner, and ruled that if the letter was a private one from a lady the hon. member need not part with it. The Major, hesitating a good deal, began at length to read the epistle himself—but I heard only the words * Women’s Christian Temperance Union : meeting : resolved : firm stand taken !’ The burst of merriment drowned the sentences—but Major Harris carried his motion all the same.