INDEPENDENCE OF CHARACTER.

New Zealand Graphic, Volume XII, Issue IX, 3 March 1894, Page 207

INDEPENDENCE OF CHARACTER.

by A. L. The so-called independent character is often merely the slave of self. It is better to rely on something outside our own personality than on any strength which we imagine ourselves to possess. We are often weak where we suppose ourselves to be strong, and fall where we most expect to stand. It would be easy here to borrow religious phraseology, but perhaps it is better to speak in the language of everyday life, borne persons are very shy of anything like the quoting of texts ; and it is well sometimes to talk of these things without resorting to sacred language. Whether we know it or not, we can none of us live without a religion. In many cases it is a worship of self. One form of this selfworship is that which delights to style itself independence. It is never so independent as it fancies ; very often it makes unusual claims on others. Its independence sometimes lies in receiving far more than it is willing to give. It will not acknowledge others to have claims on its consideration, though it constantly expects to be considered itself. Such is the baser form of the charactieiistic ; let us hope it is rare. But there are other nobler characters whose quality is also marred by a boast of independence. Their tenderness and affection are often smothered by a false pride ; so that those who cannot get near them think they are selfishly hard and callous. Their key-note is not easy to strike, and many touches can elicit only discords. Now and then the right hand touches the chord, and gets a note of the true music. Not many—perhaps one, perhaps two-are drawn into sympathy, and find that the exterior of proud coldness covers a large heart. He who thus reaches the right chord will perhaps be a character of clinging tenderness, attracted by all the magnetism of an opposite individuality. The rule of contraries is powerful in friendship. But there are penalties attached to such a friendship. He who loves one of these proudly independent characters, must be patient and long-suffering. He must be careful to make no claim — tolaydownnoconditions. Hemustloveandlook fornoreturn —giveand not ask to receive. Verylikelyhewillgetareturn, but he must not seek it; if it comes at all, it will come when he least expects it. He may light upon fountains of hidden tenderness, all the sweeter for being unexpected. In any cate the blessedness of loving will probably over-balance its caresand anxieties. But the graver warning must be given to the other character—-the soul that proudly relies upon its independence. No such independence is really possible. In this life we must always be dependent on each other. We cannot cut ourselves off, unless we go to the desert with the hermits. Isolation is not happiness. It is not good for man to be alone. It is better to suffer through others and with others, than to suffer alone. Our souls hunger for sympathy and affection ; their hunger should be fed rather than stilled. Love, though it brings live’s keenest pain, is better than barren loneliness. Better to love and lose, says Tennyson, than not to love at all. Independence of will, energy of mind, are good enough things in their right place ; but Matthew Arnold hrs truly said :— ‘That will, that energy, though rare. Are yet far far less rare than love.’ It is better to die of a broken heart than to live in isolated selfishness. It is better to surrender oneself entirely to a friend—to live in utter submission and service—than to know nothing of the power of affection. But those characters who pride themselves on the calm strength and independence of their nature, may some day find themselves stirred to the depths, and all their proud ideas of equanimity shattered. A shock as of earthquake may come, and scatter the fabric they had raised. Let them welcome such a shock as a message from God. We never fully live till we have loved ; and when we have once loved we are ready to die. All life that is worthy of the name is a life of dependence. Some person or other is affected by every one of our actions. If we try to act independently—that is, without consideration of others—we shall probably be wounding someone else, at the same time that we injure ourselves. Life's greatest blessing is service for others ; its greatest curse is selfishness.