TRY TO SMILE.

New Zealand Graphic, Volume XII, Issue VI, 10 February 1894, Page 144

TRY TO SMILE.

A FEARFUL POSSIBILITY. O, let us hope that women ne'er Shall wrest the barber’s trade from men! For. talked to death now in the chair. What would our aw ful doom be then ? Nothing Left. — Wife : ‘ Wake up ! There are thieves in the house ! ’ Husband : I Go down and show them your new bonnet, and they won’t waste any time looking for money here.’ Only a Dream.—Scribe: ‘I had the finest dream the other night.’ Spacer: ‘What was it?’ Scribe: * I thought we were paid as much per column as the advertisers are charged.’ The Last Drop.—Magistrate : * If you don’t stop drinking, it will lead you to the gallows.’ Prisoner (nonchalantly) : * Yes, one drop often leads to another.’ He Knows.—The bibulous person who said he had ‘a bright prospect ’ before him was told that it would always be there unless he swore off or chalked his nose. He Forgot the Dog.—At a natural history examination. School Inspector : ‘ What is the animal capable of the closest attachment to man ? ’ Scholar : * The leech.’ An Independent Income.—Smith: ‘ Y’ou have an independent income, haven’t yon ? ’ Brown : • Independent ? Well, I should say I had. It has utterly ignored me for years. ’ ♦ Here rest the bones of one, alack! Who all his life was dumb. Until he tried to drive a tack And hit instead his thumb. Dip he Hug?—Ethel: ‘lsn’t your friend Sculliski a Russian?’ Amy: ‘Yes; how did you know?’ Ethel:- ‘ While I was in the conservatory with him last night he acted like a bear.’ ‘My dear Rose, I dreamt of you last night.’ Rose (vivaciously): ‘ Indeed ! And what dress did I have on ? ’ V The hen that sits on a porcelain egg may not accomplish, much, but she has on nest intentions.