TRY TO SMILE.

New Zealand Graphic, Volume XI, Issue 50, 16 December 1893, Page 528

TRY TO SMILE.

TOXGI'E sandwich ought to have a telling effect on a man s appetite. Sympathetic Lawyer : *My innocent client, gentleman of the jury, has l passed through many tribulations and • trials—’ Prisoner interrupting): ‘ Yes, boss, and the worst of it is I alius She Knew Charlie.—Tom de Witt : * Whom do you think Charlie Mumford had his arm around last evening ?’ Bessie Floyd ; ‘ Oh, the nearest young lady, I suppose.'

was convicted.

A certain bishop rebuked one of his clergy for hunting. ‘ My lord,’ was the answer, * every man must have some re taxation. I assure ton I never -o to balls. •Oh !’ said the bishop, * I perceive you allude to my having been at the Governor’s party : but I give you my word I was never in the same room as the dancers * My lord,’ responded the witty parson, * my horse and I are getting old, and we are never in the same field as the hounds.'

Tis strange to think what celestial bliss Is centred in one transient kiss. The burning glow of hot, red lips. The soft warm touch of finger tips : The thirsty, throbbing, thrilling pain To kiss tbe loved one yet agair. The saddening sound’of sobbing sighs. The riaming fire of flashing eyes Are Heaven I But, oh ! when the only one Has tackled a Spanish onion 1

Didn't Hanker after It.—A worthy old farmer was open to bet that he could eat anything, and one of his boarders challenged him to tackle a crow. • Yes, I ken eat a crow.’ ‘ Bet you a bat you don’t,’ said the guest. The bet was registered : tbe crow was shot and nicely roasted, bnt before it was served up the jokers contrived to season it lavishly with snnff. Old Isaac sat down to his repast, and took a good mouthful of the crow. * Yes,’ he said, as he struggled with the delicacy ; • I ken ‘.at crow, but I’ll be if I hanker arter it !’

Angelina (anxiously): * Are you sure, dear, that yon don't regret it, and that you don't sometimes miss your life as a bachelor !' Edwin (with cheerful conviction): ‘ Not a bit, I tell you what. Angy, I miss it so little that if I was to lose you—a —l'm blessed if I wouldn't marry again.'