TRY TO SMILE.
Ma-in-Law’s Latest.—Mrs Guggles: ‘Now, tell me, Algernon, has my daughter still got the full, entire, and undivided love of your heart as she had when you were courting her two years ago ?’ Algernon: ‘ She has, mother 1 she has. I swear it !’ Mrs Guggles : ‘ Then what an unprincipled, unfeeling, unmanly scoundrel you must be-—to have a sweet little baby like yours, and to give it not a grain of your love ! You monster, you brute. I could kill you !’ * * He was an artist at sleight-of-hand, A song-dance-lady she ; They met at one, they loved at two, They married at half-past three ! A brief, brief dream of wedded bliss ; Then she criticised his tricks. They wrangled at four, they quarrelled at five And parted forever at six ! Detective (hurriedly) : ‘ Where did that fellow go who just now ran out of the hotel?’ Citizen (still rubbing the toe that the fugitive stepped on) : ‘ I don’t know, but I hope he’ll go where I told him to.’ Coroner : ‘ Is this man whom you found dead on the railway track a total stranger?’ Mike (who has been told to be careful in his statement) : ‘ No, sor. His legs was gone entirely He was a partial stranger, sor.’ The Same Old Dun.— ‘ Did you tell the grocer that I am not receiving calls of any kind to day ?’ ‘Yessir; but he said as how you ought to appoint a receiver, then.’ A Journalistic Boomerang.—• The polls are now open in this office for a citizen’s vote to determine who is the biggest liar in this town. No public-spirited citizen will neglect the duty to vote.’— Arizona lilvffsheet. The ballot: Editor Blvffsheet, 2,994 ; scattered, 7 : total, 3,001.
Permanent link to this item
https://paperspast.natlib.govt.nz/periodicals/NZGRAP18931118.2.51.5
Bibliographic details
New Zealand Graphic, Volume XI, Issue 46, 18 November 1893, Page 432
Word Count
284TRY TO SMILE. New Zealand Graphic, Volume XI, Issue 46, 18 November 1893, Page 432
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Acknowledgements
This material was digitised in partnership with Auckland Libraries. You can find high resolution images on Kura Heritage Collections Online.