TRY TO SMILE.

New Zealand Graphic, Volume XI, Issue 46, 18 November 1893, Page 432

TRY TO SMILE.

Ma-in-Law’s Latest.—Mrs Guggles: ‘Now, tell me, Algernon, has my daughter still got the full, entire, and undivided love of your heart as she had when you were courting her two years ago ?’ Algernon: ‘ She has, mother 1 she has. I swear it !’ Mrs Guggles : ‘ Then what an unprincipled, unfeeling, unmanly scoundrel you must be-—to have a sweet little baby like yours, and to give it not a grain of your love ! You monster, you brute. I could kill you !’ * * He was an artist at sleight-of-hand, A song-dance-lady she ; They met at one, they loved at two, They married at half-past three ! A brief, brief dream of wedded bliss ; Then she criticised his tricks. They wrangled at four, they quarrelled at five And parted forever at six ! Detective (hurriedly) : ‘ Where did that fellow go who just now ran out of the hotel?’ Citizen (still rubbing the toe that the fugitive stepped on) : ‘ I don’t know, but I hope he’ll go where I told him to.’ Coroner : ‘ Is this man whom you found dead on the railway track a total stranger?’ Mike (who has been told to be careful in his statement) : ‘ No, sor. His legs was gone entirely He was a partial stranger, sor.’ The Same Old Dun.— ‘ Did you tell the grocer that I am not receiving calls of any kind to day ?’ ‘Yessir; but he said as how you ought to appoint a receiver, then.’ A Journalistic Boomerang.—• The polls are now open in this office for a citizen’s vote to determine who is the biggest liar in this town. No public-spirited citizen will neglect the duty to vote.’— Arizona lilvffsheet. The ballot: Editor Blvffsheet, 2,994 ; scattered, 7 : total, 3,001.