TRY TO SMILE.

New Zealand Graphic, Volume X, Issue 22, 3 June 1893, Page 528

TRY TO SMILE.

Scene : Kent-street, Sydney. Two rival mobs of larrikins meet, the leaders each held back by their respective factions. Captain of the ‘ Rocks ’ Push (foaming at the month): •If yer let’s me go, strike me pink if I don’t bash is’ bloomin’ ed in !’ Captain of the Riley-street Talent (gnashing his teeth): ‘ ’Ere, dovin't ’old me back. Let me paralyse ’im with me science !’ Husband : * I never saw such a woman as you, Mary, you are everlastingly reading books.’ Wife : ‘Yes, I find them very interesting.’ * It's a pity I ain’t a book, then you might take some interest in me. ’ ‘ I wouldn’t object if you were the right kind of a book.’ * What sort of a book do you think a busband ought to be?’ * An almanac ; so that I could get a new one every year ?’ That’s not a bad yarn they are telling about a couple of burglarious gentlemen who * cracked a little crib ’ not far from Wellington the other evening. They bad made rather more noise than they bargained for in getting in at the kitchen window, and one of them heard a voice. * D’ye hear that, Jim ?’ said one, catching the other by the sleeve, * that’s a laidy’s voice.’ ‘ Grandmother !’ ejaculated the other ; ‘ that aint no laidy, it’s a parrot—l spotted it this arternoon.’ Just then an angry female voice was heard down the staircase—- ‘ Who the is down there ? Stay where you are, you son of a gun, you’re in the wrong —- box this time ! I’ve got a revolver.’ The cracksman who bad first spoken turned to the other in disgust—- ‘ See ? I know a laidy when I ’ear one—l told ye it was no bloomin’ parrot!’