TRY TO SMILE.

New Zealand Graphic, Volume X, Issue 7, 18 February 1893, Page 168

TRY TO SMILE.

There is nothing more tantalizing to a man than to go home with something in bis mind he wants to scold about, and find company there and be Obliged to act agreeably.

Old Lady : ‘Oh, policeman, I’ve lost my dear little dog.’ Policeman : ‘ What kind of dorg, mum ?’ Old Lady : ‘ A sweet little pug. I fear he’ll never turn up.’ Policeman (facetiously): ‘ Well, mum, anyway, his nose will 1’

Mr Snodgrass Was In.— ‘ Ardup, did you apply to old Snodgrass for a loan ?’ ‘ I did.’ ‘ How did you come out ?’ ‘ Head first.’

AND SHE SNEEZED. ‘ Where are you going, my pretty maid ? ’ ‘ I’m going to sneeze, kind sir,’ she said. ‘ Whom are you sneezing at, my pretty maid ?’ ‘ I’m going to sneeze—a-chew!’ she said.

New Zealand W(h)ines._Fond Mother: ‘ What business had darling baby better follow when he grows up, John?’ Distracted father: ‘ Oh, something in the liquor trade. He seems to understand all about whines !’

Wanted, a servant up-to-date. A late riser preferred. The master cleans his own boots and answers the door. Assistance given every day to do all the dirty work, one hour allowed each day for practising and the loan of the piano or violin. An ‘At Home ’ day once a week, and a not-at-home day when it suits. Everything else found—but the place.

Modern Chivalry - . —Young Pippin (who thinks no end of himself, to new acquaintance):' ‘ I say, that’s a very pretty girl speaking to young Stubbs. I shall go in for her. I’ll toss you which of us two mashes her, (suiting the action to the word). New Acquaintance : • No, thanks. That lady is my wife !’