TRY TO SMILE.

New Zealand Graphic, Volume IX, Issue 25, 18 June 1892, Page 630

TRY TO SMILE.

He (rapturously): I wish, Mias Prettyman, I could dance with you like this through life 1’ She (very matter of fact): *Do you 1 You must remember, though, that you’d have to pay the piper.’

Teacher: * Now, Mamie, tell me how many bones you have in your body.* Mamie: ‘Two hundred and eight.* Teacher: * Wrong; you have only twbhundred and seven.* Mamie (triumphantly): ‘Yes; but I swallowed a fish-bone at breakfast this morning !’

Policeman’s Boy (breathlessly): • Mother, there’s been a big row down town, and several officers are hurt.’ Policeman’s Wife (excitedly): • Where was it 1’ P. B. : •On father’s beat.’ P. W. (with a sigh of relief): ‘ Oh, I’m so glad ! Of course, your father wasn’t there when it happened!* P. B.:‘No’m.’ r

Thrifty Mother: * Ellen, why will you persist in eating the soft part of your bread and leaving the crusts under the edge of your plate ! Some day you may be glad to get even crusts to eat. 1 Thoughtful Daughter: * Yes, mother, that’s what I’m saving them for.*

Willing to Begin.—First Small Boy: • This paper says children oughter be taught what to do in case of fire, an’ they oughter go through the performance until they know.’ Second Small Boy: ‘ All right. Where’s the matches !*

‘ I hope my visits are not disagreeable to you,’ he said. ’ Not at all,’ she politely answered. ‘ I have sometimes thought I wearied you.’ *Oh, no I for, no matter how gloomy I feel when you call, I am always happy when you go.* y

* I like Sunday-school better than any other school,’ said Willie. *I am pleased to hear that, my little man,’ said the minister. ‘ Now will you tell me why !* ‘ Yes, sir. It comes only once a week.’

* Now, Rastus,’ said the merchant, * one more question before I employ you. Dp you drink !’ ‘ No, sah I Never, Bah. Dat’s my rule, sah !’ ‘ Well, I’m sorry. I was going to ask you to take a little ’ • Marse Browne, they ain’t nebber been no rule ’thout exceptions, sah. I excepts yo* inwitation, sah.*

The Nose Matched He: • Oh, it’s just his money. I don’t see how you can stand a man with a nose as red as a danger signal.’ She: ‘lt’s not. Besides, it would be different if I were a blonde. But any shade of red goes very nicely with my complexion.*