HOW TO COOK A HUSBAND.

New Zealand Graphic, Volume IX, Issue 25, 18 June 1892, Page 628

HOW TO COOK A HUSBAND.

Moke than a decade ago, in the Baltimore Cooking School,, the following recipe for ‘ Cooking a husband so as to make him tender and good,’ was contributed by a lady presumably of experience. We commend it to our lady readers : — A good many husbands are utterly spoiled by mismanagement. Some women go about it as if their husbands were bladders, and blow them up. Others keep them constantly in hot water ; others let them freeze by their carelessness and indifference. Some keep them in a stew by irritating ways and words. Others roast them. Some keep them in pickle all their lives. It cannot be supposed that any husband will be tender and good managed in this way, but they are really delicious when properly treated. In selecting your husband you should not be guided by the silvery appearance, as in buying mackerel, nor by the golden tint, as if you wanted a salmon. Be sure and select him yourself, as tastes differ. Do not go to the market for him, as the best tre always brought to your door. It is far belter to have none unless you will patiently learn how to cook him. A preserving kettle of the finest porcelain is best, but if you have nothing but an earthenware pipkin it will do with care. See that the linen in which you wrap him is nicely washed and mended, with the required number of buttons and strings nicely sewed on. Tie him to the saucepan by a strong silk cord called comfort, as the one called duty is apt to be weak. They are apt to fly out of the saucepan and be burned and* crusty on the edges, since, like crabs and lobsters, you have to cook them while alive. Make a clear steady fire out of love, neatness, and cheerfulness. Set him as near this as seems to agree with him. If he sputters and fizzes, do not be anxious ; some husbands do this till they are quite done. Add a little sugar in the form of what confectioners call kisses, but no vinegar or pepper on any account. A little spice improves them, but it must be used with judgment. Do not stick any sharp instrument into him to see if he is becoming tender. Stir him gently : watch the while, lest he lie too flat and close to the saucepan, and so become useless. You cannot fail to know when he is done. If thus treated you will find him very digestible, agreeing nicely with you and the children, and he will keep as long as you want, unless you become careless, and set him in too cold a place.