AT HOME WITH THE LADY EDITOR.

New Zealand Graphic, Volume IX, Issue 19, 7 May 1892, Page 484

AT HOME WITH THE LADY EDITOR.

Uniter this heading lam eery pleased to reply to all queries that are genuine and helpful to the querist and others. Kindly write on one side of the /taper only, and address tothe. Lady Editor.

Mollie B.—There is no ‘ society rule ’ about marrying a man younger than yourself. The difference of age you say, is eight years. It is undoubtedly on the wrong side, but there are many instances on record where a marriage of this kind has turned out extremely well. You do not mention whether you are young or middle-aged. In the latter case the difference in years is not nearly so perceptible as if you, say, are twenty-eight, and your fiance only twenty. In a case like that the weight of' years on the wrong side seems very ‘wrong’ indeed. You say you have been • chaffed,’ and want to know what you should do. Of course some people will persist in viewing marriage altogether as a huge joke—for other people. But if you are quite satisfied that yon are really in love witheach other, and are, a« far as you can jndge beforehand, eminently suited to one another, then marry in peace, and smile quietly at the gossips and chatterers.lfor it is you two who have to live together, and so long as you both are content and happy, what does the opinion of the world signify ? I cordially wish you good luek.

Dolly Dear wants to know how to be a pleasant guest. She is going to stay, for the first time, away from home, and with people of whom she, personally, knows little. The great secret, ‘ Dolly Dear,’ is to think a good deal of others and very little of yourself. Be willing to enter into the spirit and fun of whatever is proposed for your amusement. It may not be exactly what you would have chosen. Never mind,'play your past cheerfully to day, and who knows but that you may be able to get your own way tomorrow without having made a disagreeable fuss about it? Remember a hostess has a great many different tastes to consult, and very peculiar characters sometimes to please. Try and make her duties easier for her. Be willing to give up your game of tennis to amuse that crotchety Mrs A., whom everyone else shuns as an unmitigated bore. You think these counsels old fashioned. Some of the oldfashioned unselfish young girls are far pleasanter visitors than some of the modern young ladies, who_ upset everyone’s plans because they have not been sufficiently consulted in the making of them, who keep meals waiting because they ‘must just finish this game ;’ who are by no means disposed to be pleasant and chatty with the other lady visitors, but who save all their smiles, and as much amusing conversation ad they can boast of, for the gentlemen. Probably they are right in thinking there would not be enough of it to go round. Well, ‘ Dolly Dear,’ be yourself on your visit—unaffected, genuine, and I am sure what you can be, sweet. That you will enjoy yourself and be asked to come again I feel certain. Mademoiselle.—You are quite behind the age. You say a woman can do nothing? Why, never before in the world's history, since Eve held the fate of the whole human race in her hand as she grasped the apple, has woman wielded such influence as today. Nothing! why she can do anything! To begin with, the mother’s influence is paramount with her little children. It rests with her to make them—humanly speaking—blessings or curses to society. A sister has wonderful power over her brother if she will hut take the trouble to use it properly—to interest herself in his pursuits, to be a good and sympathetic sister to him in many wavs. A wife is either a help or a hindrance to her husband. A good aunt has frequently been a real blessing in a family circle ; and further afield, look what woman is now doing ! As a medical missionary in India, she is accomplishing a unique work ; as a lady doctor in other places she is helping her own sex ; in the cause of temperance her influence is magical. Time will not allow me to point out more ways in which woman is doing a grand work. Now, what ean you do ? At present you have only complained that there is nothing a woman can do. Tell me more about yourself, and I will try and help you. Mrs L. M. writes : ‘ Dear Lady Editor, —I like this column very much. Will you, or any of your correspondents, tell me whether you think it a good thing to allow a child money to spend ? Or do you think it best just to give what you think the child should have at any time most convenient to yourself?’ I am a very strong advocate of allowing a child a definite sum a week as soon as ever he or she can understand the value of money. I know a little boy who as soon as he was six years old began to receive a penny a week. He has a little purse, which his mother keeps for him, and he is encouraged to save his money. He has, therefore, always his mite ready when the usual collection for birthday presents is begun. I should much like to hear what other readers of this column think on this matter, and will gladly insert any letters on the subject. Thistledown.—l have complied with your request, and am much obliged to you. I shall always he very pleased to hear from you. It appears as a separate article this week.