AT HOME WITH THE LADY EDITOR.

New Zealand Graphic, Volume IX, Issue 18, 30 April 1892, Page 460

AT HOME WITH THE LADY EDITOR.

Under this heading lam very pleased to reply to all queries that are genuine and helpful to the querist and others. Kindly write on one side oj the paper only, and address to the Lady Editor.

Maude L.—Certainly you may write to me. This column is often to anyone who has anything to ask in which she or he—if necessary—thinks I can be of any assistance. I can assure you that I quite enjoy reading some of the pleasant letters which reach me through this channel. But to reply to your question. I think I have several times remaiked that the etiquette of mourning is immensely relaxed now. Why, Ido not pretend to say, except that in some things we are more sensible than our progenitors. A Hippant youth of my acquaintance says it is because life is too short to mourn long for one’s hugely-increased circle of relations and friends. There is no need at all for a widow to wear her silk gauze veil or any crape on her dress when the second year is past. Yes, she may now wear a black lace bonnet, net, or straw trimmed with jet, and relieved with a tiny touch of white or pale mauve. In a month or two she may wear black velvet, either for coat or gown, hut she must wear white and black or mauve, instead of colours a little longer yet. 80-Beep.—Yes, cards are ‘a horrid bother.’ At the same time, you know, they save a lot of * bother ’ to the called-upon, for servants do not always remember names, and have an awkward habit of forgetting that anyone at all has called, whereas a card on the salver is indisputable proof of your visit. What did you say? Someone else might have left it ! I must at once pass on to your query. Before leaving town leave p.p.c. cards on all your friends. Write p p.c. in the lower corner. You should leave themyourself if possible ;if not, send them by a servant. No, you must not send cards of inquiry by post. You can send them by a servant, but it looks more attentive to leave them yourself. The * Thanks for kind inquiries’ can certainly be posted. Send them when you have quite recovered. You may write the words at the top of your own visiting card, or get them printed. Martha.—Recipes are printed in another column under that heading. Please address to that department. Thanks for your good wishes. Reader. —I think we shall have a review column shortly, and you will there find suitable books for reading. Yes, I do read a great deal, and have read ‘ Love or Money. ’ I thought it exceedingly interesting. Like you, lam glad the heroine reformed.

Invited Guest.—l fear if you have been formally invited to the wedding and have accepted, you will be supposed to send a present —that is, unless you can plead that you are going in an official capacity. I think onr whole system of present-giving wants revising. Why should we, in this enlightened age, be compelled to give to all sorts of collections, subscriptions, testimonials, presents, etc., in which we have not the slightest personal interest ? Some of the English papers made very severe remarks on the fearful tax under which society groans in the matter of giving presents to rich people who really do not want them. These very true remarks were evoked by the collections and subscriptions flooding the British Isles towards wedding presents for the late suddenly stopped Royal marriage. lam decidedly an advocate for giving. I think each person ought to set apart a fifth, or at least a tenth of his or her income for church collections and charitable calls. Were this done, there would be only ‘ cheerful giving.’ But I do strongly disapprove of our present pernicious plan of blackmailing, for it is that, for all sorts of subscriptions and presentations to people about whom we do not care a straw, and who do not care a straw whether we give them anything or not. I think when we women get into Parliament we must try and free society from this ridiculous incubus. Then we shall be able to afford to give presents to our real friends, not of necessity, and by compulsion for fear of being thought stingy, but from a genuine desire to give them pleasure, and to testify our regard for them. Quite a little sermon, is it not ?

Mrs M. —I think candidates for confirmation always look best in white. Let your two daughters’ dresses be as simple as possible. It it is warm, clean white cotton froeks could be used, or plain white muslin. But if it is cooler, white cashmere or nun’s veiling would be appropriate. They must not wear hats or bonnets, but should have a pretty little tulle cap, with a little tulle ruche round it. Yes, they may have very simple, short tulle veils if you like, not quite over the face, or very little over it, and hanging nearly to the waist behind. No flowers at all. White gloves. Above all, let them have nothing about their dress in any way to distract their attention, or the attention of their fellow candidates from the solemnity of the promises they are making.

Auntie.—lf you are taking care of your motherless little nephew there can surely be no harm in winning from him the frank confidence a boy often gives his mother. You are in her place, and should have her love. Only don’t let him forget her.