A CAUTIOUS WOOER.

New Zealand Graphic, Volume IX, Issue 6, 6 February 1892, Page 127

A CAUTIOUS WOOER.

He : 1 Would you object to my proposing to you ?’ She (with timorous composure) : ‘ Not the slightest.’ He : ‘ You would be perfectly willing that I should state in a few well chosen words the length of the time I have worshipped ami loved you, and the terrible despair which has been mine as I saw you universally adored, and perceived how little chance there was of my hopes being realised while you remained queen over the hearts of suitors far more worthy ?’ She (as before) : ‘ Perfectly willing.' He : ‘ Would you prefer me to make the proposal standing or kneeling?’ She (correctly lowering her eyes) : ‘ I think the latter way. would be far better form. ' He: ‘ Would you prefer the declaration in language fervid, fierce, and outspoken, or intense, passionate, and contained ?’ She (with considerable promptness) : ‘ Fervid, fierce, and outspoken.’ He : ‘ And would you deem it indiscreet if the proposer, during the declaration, should print some kisses on the hand of the proposee ?' She (with artless candour) : ‘ Yes, if there were anything better anil more satisfying reasonably contiguous.’ He : ‘lf he encountered a feeble opposition merely, would you consider it unwise on the part of the proposer should he pass his arm around the proposee’s waist ?' She (gently but firmly) : ‘ It would be, I think, a matter of extreme regret if he failed to comprehend whatever possibilities the situation presented.’ He : ‘ And in case the proposer should, after slight resistance, realise these possibilities, would you consider such slight resistance sufficient encouragement to justify him in fondly folding the proposee to his heart ?' She (as before): ‘ Undoubtedly.’ He : ‘ Taking it for granted, then, that the last situation has been consummated, can you see any reason why the proposer should not rightfully regard himself in the light of a magnificent success as a wooer She (promptly): ‘ 1 cannot.’ He : ‘ Or why he should not be joyful in the thought that for the nonce, at least, she is his and lie hers’?’ She (with some impatience) : ‘ No.' He : ‘ Now, appealing to you as belonging to that sex which intuitively sees and understands the peculiar proprieties of an emergency of this sort, are there not occasions more appropriate than others for a declaration of love ?' She (trilling nervously with her handkerchief): ‘There are. The elements of time, place, and liability of interruje tion must, of course, be properly regarded.’ He : ‘ Do you believe the present contains those elements ?' She (trifling more nervously with her handkerchief ; ‘I have no doubt of it.’ He : ‘ You also believe, do you not, that tastes, inclinations —in fact —all dispositional characteristics, are found to be conspicuously similar, especially in family groups?' She (trifling more nervously with handkerchief): ‘ < ertainly. ’ He : ‘ Now, for instance, you and your sistei are, I fancy, vivid illustrations of this truism.’ She (elevating her eyebrows) : ‘ Yes, Mabel and I are, so far a« preferences and dislikes are concerned, singularly similar. He : ‘ls your sister at home ?' She (slowly looking him over) ; ‘ 1 think she is.’ He: ‘ Will you tell her, please, I would like to see her — alone ?'