HIS ENGLISH FAILED HIM.

New Zealand Graphic, Volume VIII, Issue 50, 12 December 1891, Page 672

HIS ENGLISH FAILED HIM.

When the United States ship Portsmouth reached Hampton roads fresh from the West Indies, she found in that port the German man-of-war Nixe, and in the course of a few days a warm friendship was established between the young officers of the two ships. Frequent visits were in order. Among the German officers there was one young man who thought—who knew—that he had mastered the whole English language in his short month in American waters. He was so snre of this that he hastened to exhibit his fluency whenever any of the American officers were about. This led to a trap which awoke the German somewhat rudely to a realisation of his error. He was on board the Portsmouth, conversing with a knot of officers, when a shower came np. • This is quite a malignant storm,’ he said, positively. ‘Yes,’ replied Ensign C., who stood near by, * but it's only half as bad as it would be if it were twice as bad as it is,’ a remark which caused the German to stare blankly at the speaker. He couldn’t grasp it. " Hey ?’ he finally said, with a dazed air. ‘ Oh ! I merely remarked,’ said C., ‘that it might have been if it was, and it would have been if it could, but as it hadn’t, it didn’t—see?’

But the German didn’t see. He edged his -way slowly toward the gangway as though bereft of his senses. His eyes were glassy, his face was pallid and careworn. They never saw him again.