WAIFS AND STRAYS.

New Zealand Graphic, Volume VIII, Issue 48, 28 November 1891, Page 623

WAIFS AND STRAYS.

A ragged coat finds little credit. What we learn with pleasure we never forget. ‘Whatever induced you to marry Fred?’ ‘Fred, of course.’ Adam was perhaps the first man who deemed marriage a failure. It is remarkable ; but the unfair umpire was never know n to decide for our side. It is all right for a man to shine in society ; tut if his clothes do it is quite a different matter. It's a mighty little hammock that won’t hold two souls with but a single thought. Though there isn't much wit In a statement like this. Still a man makes a hit When he Mrs a Miss. Some men are born great ; some achieve greatness, and some couldn't tell to save their necks how it happened. Ax Exception.—Some men cannot keep their eyes off the ladies unless, perhaps, they have seats in a horse car and the ladies are standing. A Philadelphia surgeon has dissected and mounted the complete nervous system of a human being—something never before accomplished. Extremes, though contrary, have a like effect ; extreme heat mortifies like extreme cold ; extreme love breeds satiety, as well as extreme hatred. AT A DISADVANTAGE. She has ehanged her seat within the.chureh Because the sun shone through The coloured window at her side And turned her nose sky blue. The smallest screws in the world are used in the manti facture of watches. The screw in the fourth jewel wheel, that appears to the naked eyes like a bit of dust, is so small that a lady’s thimble would, it is stated, hold 1,000,000 of them. Among a multitude of good things Dr. Oliver Wendell Holmes has said none better than this :— ‘ The human race is divided into two classes—those who go ahead and do something, and those who sit still and inquire, “ Why wasn’t it done the other way ?” ' Incident in a Parisian Cafe.—There are people in Paris who will die willingly if only they can die in public and with eclat. Thus, at a Belleville haunt, an old soldier ordered a repast, coolly enjoyed it, drank his coffee afterwards, and then—blew out his brains. On searching his note-book, the police discovered that the suicide had therein recorded his impressions to the moment that he had sat down to his last meal. It finished in these terms : ‘ All the same ; there are some men who have no luck. I might have remained an honest man, but I was not allowed. When I have finished drinking my petit verre, I shall blow up the powder magazine.' AX’ ADAITAHI.E POEM. They stood beside the open grate (For summer, substitute a gate! ; She was blonde (if you prefer Why make a brunette out of herl. He spoke of love (they all do that). And she I Her heart went pit-a-pat. The speed, why you yourself can tlx. From seventy up to ninety-six. She hung her head, she blushed, she sighed. She laughed ; or possibly she eried. Just take your choice and have her do Precisely as you wish her to. She did et cetera, until Her George, or Jack, or Jim. or Will. Or any name you like the best; But why go on ? You know the rest. Sunday in the Olden Time—The old English Sunday in the North of England seems to have been characteiized by some strange practices. Sunday announcements of forthcoming auction sales and other equally secular matters were in some instances made by the parish clerk in the churchyard, or even in the church itself. It seems, moreover, that at Wigton, in Cumberland, during the reign of Charles IL, a Sunday meat market was held. Butchers put their careases of meat at the church door, and customers actually took the joints they had bought inside the building, and hung them on the backs of the seats till service was finished. The clergyman was, we are told, so disturbed by this irreverent custom that he made a journey to London on foot, and secured the change of market day to Tuesday. Solo Dancing.—Engaging dancing ladies to display their agility at evening receptions, in London, now enables a great number of artistes to gain very handsome remuneration. The idea was, probably, started some months ago by the Queen commanding a very graceful young dancer. Miss Smith, to appear before her, to show her skill in her art ; and since then one or two leading ladies of fashion have en gaged her and other clever artistes in the ‘ poetry of motion for the purpose named, the new departure meeting with the greatest success. It is thus quite likely, from a fad or craze of the hour, this long neglected art may again be brought into repute; for kicking and plunging violently on the stage, and tearing round like beings distraught in a ballroom, can scarcely be termed dancing, which should embody all the grace of which the human form divine is capable.

REUNITED in Old Age.—Jackson Thomas married forty years ago a young woman, and after a few years they were divorced. Both found new and presumably more suitable companions. Death roblied each in a short time of the happiness thus found. Each tried a third matrimonial venture, and the new relations continued until recently, when again, by a singular coincidence, the visitation of death left each alone in the world. Incle Jack, as he is called, is now eighty-one years old, the lady who was his first wife, sixty-nine. < >ld targets for Cupid, surely. But the little archei knew that under the dead ashes of a double bereavement in the old man's heart there was still something inflammable, so he aimed an arrow—a fiery arrow, so to speak—at the ancient breastworks, and the old flame of forty years ago burst forth again. It was carried by I ncle Jack to the woman from whom he separated thirty-five years ago. The flame caught and spread. Now the fire on the household altar is burning again, after a brief court ship.