WHY COLONIAL GIRLS MARRY.

New Zealand Graphic, Volume VIII, Issue 43, 24 October 1891, Page 508

WHY COLONIAL GIRLS MARRY.

BY

A CANADIAN LADY.

An Englishman once said to me, * I cannot understand why so many of our fellows, who have had no thought of marriage while in England, become engaged directly they go to your Canadian stations.’ Since then I have heard the question many times discussed, but seldom is the real reason given. That it is an undoubted fact that almost every regiment and man-o*-war leaving Halifax after the term of service has expired carries away with it some fair lady to a new home, few people who know anything of the matter will be prepared to deny. The reason is not far to seek. It does not lie in the girls themselves—they are no prettier, wittier, wealthier, or more well-bred than their English sisters —but in the home life and social life that surrounds them. To begin with the home life. Almost every girl, whether rich or poor, is brought up to be helpful and energetic at home. Servants are hard to keep, and as the experienced ones drift off to the States, those left require careful training from their mistresses. Of necessity, then, every mistress must not only know how things ought to look when well done, but must be able to show her servants how to do them. This necessity is an excellent thing for the girls themselves ; it makes them self-reliant, quickens their perceptions and gives them a knowledge of household management which, while it will enable them to marry poor men, will fit them, no less for rich men’s wives. A Canadian girl from long practice has learnt the art of doing much at home with her own hands, and yet not being diagged down by it as by a burden too great to bear, but taking it all cheerily as part of the day’s work, in no way interfering with her pursuits and amusements. Then the social life, too, helps to influence her character, and I think with a better result than the social life of the upper middle class in England. The amusements are so varied; the life, though by no means as wildly unconventional as many people believe, is so free. A girl brought up to join in many of her brother’s amusements—such as canoeing, lobster-spearing, fishing, and boating in summer, and skating, tobogganing, and snow-shoeing in winter—becomes more of a companion to him, and mixes more among his friends, than any girl has a chance of doing in England ; unless, perhaps, she be the daughter of some country squire. This does not tend to lessen her womanliness, though it perhaps adds to it some of the attributes of a man. She no longer looks upon man either as her natural enemy or her natural prey, but is more than content to hail him as a friend with whom she has much in common. Most men are glad to meet her on these terms, knowing that neither she nor her friends will imagine he is in love with her simply because he drops in more than once to have a chat in her father’s house. In many cases a friendship does ripen into love with the consent of both parties, but the friendship is not begun with that end in view. Another remark made in England is that it is wonderful to see men of good English family anxious to marry the daughters of large tradesmen or merchants. It must be remembeied that in a new country everybody works. There is no rule of primogeniture here. Most of the merchants and tradesmen whose daughters marry gentlemen are themselves well educated and very likely come of some good old Scotch or English stock. In conclusion, one little word of advice to English parents. If the pretty, ladylike girls one sees about in England were only brought up to be a little more useful with their hands and heads, so that they might be able to live on small incomes if occasion required, and if society would encourage more friendly intercourse between the sexes than is possible at present—when a man needs to be engaged to a girl before he can study her character ! —I thiuk we should have no need of the magazine articles and letters to the papers which are all too prevalent in England, now on the vital question of ‘ Why don’t men marry?’

K.C.B.