MISCELLANEOUS.

New Zealand Graphic, Volume VIII, Issue 26, 27 June 1891, Page 120

MISCELLANEOUS.

Why are ladies’ dresses at the waist like a general meeting ? —Because there is a gathering there, and sometimes a good deal of bustle.

‘ How pleasant it is to see husband and wife of one mind ?’ ‘lt is indeed. There’s the Robinsons for example. She thinks there’s nobody in the world like Robinson, and he thinks so too.’

Bulfinch : ‘ What’s the matter, Wooden ?’ Wooden : ‘ I’ve just been to ask old Cash Box for his daughter.’ Bulflnch : ‘ Well, how did you come out ?’ Wooden : ‘ Through the window.’ ”

Gigantic Lady (who is very timid): ‘ Can you see me across the road, policeman ?’ Foliceman : ‘ See yer across the road, maim? Why, bless yer ! I b’lieve I could see yer ’arf a mile off 1’

A shoemaker in a mining village was recently asked if he was going to join a miners’ demonstration, which was to be held next day. ‘Weel.’he replied, ‘I think no. I have other ways o’ enjoying my sei’. I’m gaun to a funeral.’ ‘Queer critters women is,’ said Uncle Jehiel. ‘When one of ’em starts in to git a man all the otheis tries to head her off, an’ then, soon as she gits him, they all turn round and help her to manage him. ’ ‘ Fringed kisses ’ are the latest fad in confectionary, and Freshleigh Youngbee asked his ‘ best girl ’ one day : ‘ Aw, why are you girls so fond of “ fringed kisses,” you know?’ And she, gazing at the feeble growth on his upper lip, answered cruelly : ‘ Because we’ve got tired of waiting for the moustache that never comes. ’

Jimmy : ‘Ma, can I have that chocolate on your diess-ing-case?’ Mother: ‘Yes.’ (Jimmy makes no motion towards taking it.) Mother ; ‘ Why don’t you take it if you want it? Why, I declare it’s gone!’ Jimmy: ‘Yes; I ate it before I asked you for it.’ , ‘ Ah, dearest,’ sighed a young man, kneeling at the feet of his ownest own, ‘ dost thou know what of all things is nearest my heart?’ ‘ Really I can’t say,’ she sweetly replied, ‘ blit in this cold weather I should think it was a flannel shirt.’ She was too practical, and it broke the engagement.

‘ Lovers are prone to self-depreciation,’said he tenderly, as they sat looking at the stais. ‘I do not understand what you see in me that you love me. ’ ‘ That’s what everybody says,’ gargled the ingenious maiden. Then the silence became so deep that you could hear the stars twinkling. At Their Boarding-House.—He came into breakfast five minutes earlier than she did. ‘ Ah,’ she said, as she took her place at the table, ‘ the early bird ?’ ‘ No, no,’ he murmured, significantly, intensely, passionately, ‘ only the poor worm that the early bird finds waiting for her.’ ’ And it came to pass. No Risk in Hi-s.—Rich Old Party : ‘ What do you want a wife for when you can hardly support yourself ? Why, sir, my daughter would starve ! Snookins (with great dignity): ‘ Well, sir, if you are the kind of a man to let your daughter and her husband starve I don’t wish to enter the family.’

A windy orator in a certain legislature, after a lengthy effort, stopped for a glass of water. Up rose a witty senator, saying, ‘ 1 rise to a point of order.’ Everybody stared, wondering what the point of order was. ‘What is it?’ asked the speaker. ‘I think, sir,’ said the interrupter, ‘it is out of order for a windmill to go by water.’