WAIFS AND STRAYS.

New Zealand Graphic, Volume VIII, Issue 26, 27 June 1891, Page 106

WAIFS AND STRAYS.

The cheerful giver—the man with the valueless cpinion. Beauty is only skin deep, but it will get a seat in the horse tram every time.

‘ Then what reason have you for marrying ?’ ‘ I’ve no leason at all. I’m in love.’

There are more quarrels smothered by just shutting your mouth and holding it shut than by all the wisdom in the world.

If you want advice, get it from a man or woman who is nearest your own age. That is, if you want advice that you can accept.

He (gazing at the stars): ‘ I wonder which are the evil stars’’ She: ‘The ones that wink. Certainly such conduct is reprehensible.’

To succeed in the world it is much more necessary to possess the penetration to discover who is a fool than to discover who is a clever man.

Large oysters are all the fashion. But it is no satisfaction for an oyster to be large, for he knows that if he is in the fashion one day he will be in the soup the next. Britannia was the name given by the Romans to the Island of Britain, which is represented on their medals under the figure of a female resting her left arm on a shield.

Minister : ‘My dear brethren, in the warm, oppressive weather I can excuse a little drowsiness during my sermon ; but I do wish you would keep awake while the co’llection is being taken up.’ If most young people could know each other as well before marriage as they do after two years of married life, there is great reason to fear that this old world would not last more than two generations longer.

If the Chinese, wherever their labour is profitable, had the continuous daylight af Arctic summer, they would every day work at. least twenty hours. Lights never seem to go out in Chinese laundries by night. Probably no men on the face of the earth gives so little time to sleep as the Chinamen.

Defunct American Newspapers.—During last year 1,120 newspapers died in the United States, and of these about 1,000 had enjoyed an existence of not over twelve months. It is an easy thing to start a newspaper, but the projectors forget that capital, brains and leaders are necessary to make one a success.

-A. Turkish story has it, that the day after the expulsion from Paradise, Adam said to his wife : ‘ Thou didst love me when I could lay at thy feet Eden and all its delights. What are thy thoughts to ine now that, from a king, I have become a beggar’’ ‘ I love thee still,’she replied. ‘Thy love makes me forget Paradise,’ said Adam. But the serpent hidden behind a bush, hissed out: ‘ She loves him because there is no other.’ Eve blushed and Adam stroked his forehead.

REVERIES OF A CONCEITED OLD BEAU. How dear to my heart are the loves of my childhood, When fond recollection presents them to view. With Katie and Bessie I roamed in the wildwood With Susie, sweet Phoebe, and Winifred, too. ’ And as I grew older, Ruth, Stella, Fidelia, Evangeline, ’Tilda, Ann, Polly, Irene, Grace, Nannie, Maud, Rosie, Jane, Eunice, Cornelia Blanche, Miriam, Jessie, Eva, Mabel, and Nell, All worshipped my image. Penelope, Callie, And— (But here we stopped him. With face grave and solemn He showed us a list that would till a whole column.)

Deserted and Died.—Emil Hecht, of Pittsburg, U.S A who formerly worked for President Bloch, of the Vienna Railroad, at Warsaw, Poland, identified the remains of the young lady who committed suicide at the Union Station recently as Eva Bloch, the daughter of his former employer in Poland. On the girl’s wrist was a peculiar silver bracelet of the design of a bridle-bit, which is the Polish insignia of a marriage vow. The girl was accompanied to America by an officer in the Polish army, who had remained in Philadelphia, promising to follow her to Pittsburg. They had run away from Poland, and were to be married in America. A note written in the Polish language was found secreted in the young lady’s clothing, which translated reads : ‘ He has deserted me and I wish to die.’

French Detectives.—The ability of Fiench detectives in the matter of disguising their identity is marvellous. Some yeais ago one of them made a bet that he would, in the course of the next few days, address a gentleman with whom he was acquainted four times, for at least ten minutes each time, and that he should not know him on any occasion until the detective had made himself known. As a matter of course, the gentleman was on his guard, and mistrusted everyone who came near him. But the man won his bet. It is needless to enter into particulars. Suffice it to say that, in the course of the next four days, he presented himself in the character of a bootmaker’s assistant, a hackdriver, a venerable old gentleman with a great interest in the Bourse, and finally, as a waiter in the hotel where the gentleman was staying.

‘Ouida and her Ponies.— ‘ Ouida ’ tells the following pretty story of a pair of ponies : —‘ I had a few months ago a pair of ponies, bought by me almost as colts, and never separated for an hour for seven years. This summer one of them, Ali, died ; during his illness the sorrow, wonder, and efforts to rouse him of his stable-companion were touching to behold. They were both loose in a very large box, where they habitually lived together, and the one in health, Odo, was constantly whining over his sick friend, lieking him, and trying to induce him to eat hay, which he brought to' him in his teeth. When Ali was really dead and responded to his caresses no more, Odo’s grief was poignant and piteous ; it lasted longer than most brothers’ regret would endure. Five months have gone by, but he has not forgotten ; when I take him his sugar he neighs wistfully, and looks about for his dead comrade. This is not fiction ; it is plain fact. It is pure mental pain, pain of the affectionsand the regrets." He wants for nothing materially, but he mourns his lost friend.’