MISCELLANEOUS.

New Zealand Graphic, Volume VII, Issue 10, 7 March 1891, Page 20

MISCELLANEOUS.

She : ‘ Have you ever thought what an appropriate type of marriage the wedding ring is ? A ring is a thing with no end.’ He : ‘Yes, and there's nothing in it.’ Chappie : ‘ It’s very disagreeable when a fellah goes into society to meet one’s trades-people.’ Cynicus: ‘ Why, they don’t dun you before the company, do they ?’ Ethel : ‘ Don't you like those sofas that have just room enough for two ?’ Maud : ‘ Yes ; but I like those that have hardly room enough for two far better. ’ They were roasting chestnuts in the fire— ‘ lam going to call that big one by your name,’ she said. ‘ Why ?’ asked he. * Because it seems to be cracked and won’t pop.’ But he did. Constance wants us to tell her what a honeymoon is. ‘ Well, Constance, when a man and woman have been made one, the honeymoon is the time spent in endeavouring to discover which is that one.’ A prisoner, on being sentenced to penal servitude for the term of his natural life, was consoled bv one of his friends in the court shouting out: ‘Be aisy, Tom, me jooil, we’ll give ye a foine spree when ye’ve sarved yer toime !’ A Kight of Horror.—Dashaway : ‘ The other night I went to an amateur theatrical performance, and then I went home and had a terrible dream. ’ Cleverton : ‘ What did you dream ?’ Dasha way : ‘.I dreamt I went to it again.’ Mother (to small son going to the country): * Frank, have you taken everything you will need?' Frank: ‘ Yes’m.’ Mother : * Have you your toothbrush ?’ Frank (very indignantly): ‘Toothbrush? Why, I thought I was going away foi a vacation.’ Just as He Did at Present.—Mrs Nubbins : ‘ Josiah, are you going to get up ?’ Mr Nubbins (yawning) : ‘ Well, I have one consolation ; I shall have sleep enough when I’m dead.’ Mrs N. : ‘ Yes, and you’ll find the fire lit when you awake, just as you do now. ’ His Only Need.—‘Your father is very wealthy, I presume, Miss Makitinpork T ‘ Very rich indeed. There’s nothing, so to speak, he hasn’t got.’ ‘Ah, yes there is. There is something he hasn’t got, for all his wealth. I’d like to supply him. He hasn’t got a son-in-law. ’ Mrs Baggs (married five years): ‘ Why, Mrs Baggs, what in the world are you sobbing so about ? Has anything gone wrong?’ Mrs Saggs (married eight years): ‘ Oh, Mrs Baggs (sob), I can’t help it (sob), but my heart is almost broken (sob). My husband kissed me so affectionately when he went away this morning (sob) that I can’t help being afraid he is going to do something wrong.’