MISCELLANEOUS.

New Zealand Graphic, Volume V, Issue 49, 6 December 1890, Page 20

MISCELLANEOUS.

Yovxg Max : ‘ls Miss Brown in * Maid : ‘ Yes. sir, but she's engaged.' Young man : ‘ Oh, that’s all right: I am what she’s engaged to. I should like to see her. ’ ‘ There is no rule without an exception, my son.’ ‘Oh? isn’t there, pa ? A man must always be present while he is being shaved.’ ■My dear, hadn’t you better send this child to bed * He’s too elever !’ ‘ My income is small,’ said a rather dilatory lover, * and perhaps it is cruel of me to take you from your father's roof.' ‘ But I don’t live on the roof,’ was the prompt response. She : ‘Am I the first woman you ever loved f He : * I think you are the first I ever truly loved. I have been attracted more or less by other women, but in each instance, before I fell in- love with yon, there could be found some rational excuse for it.’ Mr Bakeboard, who is staying at a mountain boarding house : ‘ I tell ye, a man kin jest live on this mountain air Mr Hollereids : ‘ Yes, as I have found out; but I think a little food now and then would help digestion wonderfully.' Bobby G. (to Mr S., who is spending the evening!: ‘ Won’t you show me your fiddle one day, please f Mr S. : ‘ Fiddle. Bobby ! I have no fiddle.’ Bobby : ‘ Oh, yes, you have. Papa says you've played second fiddle ever since you got married.’ An Austrian banker rushing recently into a friend’s private room exclaimed : ‘ Oh, Gustave, my wife has bolted !~ ‘ Bolted !’ exclaimed his friend, ‘ And in heaven's name, with whom f ‘ With my cash box !’ returned the banker, wringing his hands. Great Lawver: ‘I am tired to death.’ Sympathetic Wife : ‘ You look tired. What is the matter ?' Lawyer : ‘ I've been making my speech for the defence for three days now, and. tired or not, I’ll have to go on with it to-morrow, and perhaps the next day.’ Wife : ‘ Can’t you cut it short ?* Lawyer: ‘ Not until the jury have bad time to forget the evidence against my client.’'

Mr HogKsHEIM : ‘ How voe mein cousin dis mornin , dogterf Dr. Gold burg : ‘ Failin’ fasd. ’ Mr Hocksheun (Co Am /rinuf): ‘Py Moses, Sol! V’y didn’t you tell me ? Anyvays it ain’d too lade to maig me a perferrt gretitor, mein old shum.'