HINTS TO GUESTS.

New Zealand Graphic, Volume V, Issue 46, 15 November 1890, Page 14

HINTS TO GUESTS.

Beware of the chair with one or two weak less and a frail lack. There is such a ebair in every home. It is more or less a cripp«le—generally more, very often much more—and nine out of ten guests will pick it out from among a dozen and flop* down into in I never missed ko-r;- that myself. I wonder that folks don't label such ehairs as follows: * Don’t sit in this chair : it is a cripple, and is kept only to ■ fill np a roroer.’ Always say that the baby is the handsomest child you ever saw, and that it strikingly resembles both his father and nrotber. A little lie like that on the part of the guest doesn’t cost anything, and helpe wonderfully to clear away the gloom that has bees cast over the family circle by an unexpected visitor who has tome in just as the tea and white sugar are gone Don't compare the roffee of your hostess to muddy water and her p>ie-erast to sole-leather because she asks you to make yourself • perfectly at home,' and to feel ’just as if you were in your own house.’ She doesn’t mean you to feel at home quite that far. [tou t try to sing in the house of your host. You should cast as tittle gio>«m as prwsible over the home you are visiting. If you have a desire to sing, and easm-t stifle it, go to the woods. If you sing as wretche>ily as some folks I have heard, including my mother-in-law’s daughter's husland, go several miles into the worfs before you let your warbler loose. When you observe the ad--red offsp>ring of your host using your new high hat for a drum, wear a glad smile and make some pleasant remark about the tendency of boys to be boys. Wait for solitude in which to express your tree feelings. If yon are a guest on a farm make yourself generally useful. You ean become as solid as the eternal hills with* your host by merely putting in ten lively hours of each day in the cornfield, ami then milking a few rows after supper.' If you will keep this up a week or two, your host will weep, your i.jsom full of scalding tears when you declare your intention to tear yourself away from him. You should, as far as possible, adopt the rules and regulations. and follow the manners and customs of the family ■» hose guest vou are. If the fever and ague prevail in the domestic circle, you can raise yourself to high degree in tire estimation of your host and hostess by falling in with the precession and having your chill, and taking your quinine pill at the regular family hour.

Wife : ‘ What does it mean in this p«*per when it says that tlie young rlerman En-peror expects a call to arms?* Husband : * A call to arm- ! I rappoae it means be expects his wife to say. ** Wilhelm, take the baby.” ’