MISCELLANEOUS.

New Zealand Graphic, Volume V, Issue 45, 8 November 1890, Page 24

MISCELLANEOUS.

Cynicus (to dude who has been staring him out of countenance! : ‘ My dear boy, tell me, are you weak minded or only rude ?’ ‘ Did you carry her heart by storm ?’ was asked of the bridegroom. * So,’ he replied. ‘ I worked the old ice-cream racket. ’ She (in the parlour): ‘Oh, Charley, I didn’t know it was so late ! Just see my watch ! I'm almost one !’ He i rapturously) : ‘ Oh, my darling! Almost won! Let me hope that you will mate your mind up fully ?’ Judge: ‘Prisoner, do you confess your guilt?’ ‘No, your Honor. The speech of my lawyer has convinced even me of my entire innocence.’ Natural Query.— ‘ I’m afraid, Johnny,’ said the Sun-day-school teacher rather severely, ‘that I’ll never meet you in Heaven.' ‘Why? What have you been doin’ now ?’ Mr Aarons (to his partner in the clothing business): ‘Vat vou want to fish for? You’ll ruin the bizzness vid yure idleness.’ Mr Levi Baxter : ‘ I vas toldt that a man named McGinty jump oft' this dock dressed in his best suit ov clo’s, and I’m fishing fur the suit.’ During a melodramatic performance a stout lady be»an to sob violently. Anxious Husband : ‘ Come, my dear, let us be going ; this is too much for your feelings.’ ‘ What does it matter to you so long as I am enjoying myself ?’ During a liunt a Lieutenant fired at a rabbit, but did not hit it, and narrowly missed the Major of his regiment. * I say, Lieutenant,’ exclaimed the Major, ‘ are you shooting at a rabbit or tor promotion ?’ Not In It.—Stranger : ‘ ’Why are those [>olicemen hurrying around the corner?’ Citizen: ‘There is going to be a fight.’ ‘Where? Around the comer ?’ ‘ No, it is going to be here." • Couldn’t Be Bullied.—Tailor: ‘I really do hope you will settle this little account to-day, sir. I have a heavy bill to pay my cloth merchant.’ Captain (calmly): ‘Confound your impudence ! You go and contract debts ami come dunning me to pay them. Get out, or I’ll send for the [m>l ice. ’