THE WICKED BAGMAN.

New Zealand Graphic, Volume VI, Issue 36, 6 September 1890, Page 7

THE WICKED BAGMAN.

EvEin boy of us in the village knew I’ncle Jerry Crawford. He was a dried-up old man, and never seemed to get any older, although always complaining. The form of salutation was invariably thus : ‘ Hello ! I ncle Jerry !’ ‘ How you feeling ‘Wretched, wretched, thank ye.’ I’ve heard that at least one thousand times, and never knew a deviation but once. A commercial traveller that used to come up occasionally got upon it, and one day when a dozen of us sat on the steps of the chemist's shop Lnele Jerry was seen coming up the street. ‘ Isn't that < >l<l < ’rawford ?' asked the traveller shading his eyes with his hand. ‘ He's the man who always replies that he's pretty well, praise God !’ ‘Oh, no. He’s the man that always replies that he's wretched, wretched, thank ye.' ‘ I may be mistaken, but I don't think so.' • Of course you an*.’ ‘ Well, I hate to give in. I'll bet £2othat when he comes up and you ask him how he is he'll reply as I said.' T'here were seven of us there, and all ue could raise was £5. We handed that out fast enough, however, ami it bad been covered when I ncle Jerry came along. We were on the grin as the traveller called out : ‘ Hello ! I ncle Jerry !’ ‘ N ass, yass !' ‘ How you feeling ?' ‘Pretty well, praise God !’ replied I ncle Jerry, as be passed on. It was about two minutes before we could get breath, and then the traveller had gone with the stakes. An hour later I asked (ncle Jerry what hemeant by such conduct, ami he replied : ‘ Took me all day to learn it, ami the feller gin me two half a crowns.’ JrsTICE IN T'l.x as. Judge Pulltrigger: ‘ls your verdict guilt y or not guiltyl'oreman Bill Gaperejo : ‘ We want to ask one question. The evidence shows that the prisoner shot at the man six times, and then only Hit him once in the foot. Ain't there no law agin such poor sbootin'?’ Judge Pulltrigger (reluctantly): ‘No.’ E’oreman Bill Caperejo (sadly): ‘ Not guilty, then.