A PUBLICAN’S DRINKS.

New Zealand Graphic, Volume VI, Issue 32, 9 August 1890, Page 20

A PUBLICAN’S DRINKS.

The proprietor of a certain public-house was noticed to drink with everyone who asked him, but never took the same liquor as his customer.

4 How is it,’ asked a man who had been looking on from his seat at a table nearby, ‘that you can manage to consume so much liquor in the course of the day, and yet not show the effects of it ? You have had at least ten glasses in the last hour, and I suppose the same sort of thing goes on all day, yet your eye is clear, your skin heal thy‘looking ami your whole appearance that of a man who never takes more than is good tor him.’

4 Well, I’ll tell you,’ said the proprietor, with a laugh, ‘ seeing that you’re an old friend, if you promise not to tell. You see for yourself how hard it is for a popular publican to keep from becoming a mere tank, a sot, so many people are always asking him to drink, for various motives, ami if he declines he is apt to give offence. Now, I attribute my success in that line to a wise choice of liquors. 4 (Jin or whisky of an especial brand I always take, and I keep them in particular bottles, which are never handed to customers, but are kept here on the shelf for my own use. Taste my whisky,’ he said, setting out his private bottle, containing a yellowish liquid. 4 What do you think of it ?’

4 Curious stuff,’ said his friend, sipping it and sniffing at it. 4 Don’t think I ever tasted anything quite like it before. It's not at all bad, though. Has considerable aroma, but it’s mighty weak for whisky. What brand is it?’ 4 Taste the gin,’ was all the reply the proprietor gave, as lie set his private gin bottle down beside the other. 4 Curious,’said the friend, pouring out and sampling a colourless liquid. 4 I am sure I never tasted anything like it before. Come, now, what is it ?’ ‘That’s water,’said the publican, with a grin. 4 Never tasted it, eh ?’ 4 Water !’ gasped his friend. 4 Yes, and the other’s cold tea. Now you know how I drink and drink and yet keep a clear head and a steady pulse. But keep it quiet, my noy.’