She’s Crowing Up During the War

Waikato Times, Volume 127, Issue 21200, 24 August 1940, Page 16 (Supplement)

She’s Crowing Up During the War

PROBLEMS ALL MOTHERS MUST FACE JN normal times, at seventeen, a girl disengages herself from the indefinite background of her school and home life and makes ready to smile on the world. Whether she intends to follow a career, to look ahead to marriage, or just to stay around and have a good time, she is thrillingly aware of freedom beckoning, of an exciting new life to come, where ambitions may be realised, hopes fulfilled. After the initial excitement of war faded, imagine, then, the shock to the seventeen-year-old when she realised that she was compelled to face an existence which temporarily lacked all continuation. Her world was swept away under her feet. Too abruptly she was severed from her associations and associates. Her friends are scattered, many are parted from their families. Her home life may be in upheaval. Training for her career may be indefinitely postponed. All this comes at a time when seventeen-year-old passions run high, when ardours are flaming, when patriotism compares with that of Joan of Arc. They are at an age of quivering sensibility, passing from girl into woman. Their upbringing and education set them free at this psychological, physiological moment. In a world of activity, they are to remain inactive. Their mental state can be compared with the physical aspect of a man springing into action whose limbs are suddenly blown off. The only difference is that the damage in our daughter’s cases is not irreparable. What are we mothers to do about it all ? It is not easy. But it is our job to see that our daughters who are growing up in the war develop evenly, not spasmodically, in spite of the war. The only way to do this is to make them our companions. Let them light the war with us. Let them shoulder arms in the family circle, there’s plenty to do. But don’t take advantage of your position just to make use of them. They must express themselves, live as equals, participate in the government and formulate the projects, as well as partake in the labours of the family commonwealth. They must not be blanketed, nor ground down, nor thrust into the background. I# they share your life, share theirs. Don’t be exasperated by their wastefulness, their ungovernable and boundless energy on the one hand, and then their seemingly interminable fits of laziness on the other. They don’t know how to dispose of or how to conserve their forces. Bear with their enthusiasms, their contempts, their despairs, their eulogies. You were once like that. Bring illusions to earth gently. They have the faculty for starting each day as a separate and gorgeous adventure even now. Preserve this. Listen to their ideas, pay heed to their opinions, invite criticism, even advice. They are your companions. On the practical side, lead them to observe, to deduce, and to judge. On the news of the day, the people they meet, housework, prices, shopping, insist on accuracy, the keeping of accounts, economy, the care of personal belongings, clothes, tidiness and good housewifery. Praise any sign of forethought. Let them see that shares, dividends, simple interest—in fact, all that constitutes income—are of very real and living importance, not just dead conundrums that they have met in arithmetic books. Enable them to link their knowledge with life. Let Her Seize on Life when all is Uncertainty You, yourself, will require steadying presently, when young Charles returns from camp, the boy she bullied last summer holidays, who carried her bathing wrap for her. He will be transfigured in uniform. Something inexplicable will happen to her when she goes out to lunch with him. Nor can you keep her from going to lunch with him. as if she doesn't go some other girl will, and you can’t keep her away from young men. Nor can you say, if they happen to fall for each other and want to marry, that he has a weak and receding chin; or that you feel certain he will not be able to fend for himself and provide a home for her. He has not had an opportunity of showing how he can fend or what he can provide as yet, since he is fighting for you, for her. and his country. Nothing can, nor should, get over that. If you prevent them from marrying, because they are so young, he may be killed and she may remain a spinster. There are enough spinsters left over from the last war. We love and deplore them. You will have stopped her from living her life to the full, stolen her birthright. Most mothers will encounter this dilemma and their struggles will not be simple. Life was fleeing then, as it is now fleeing, from the same menace. What is the use of applying reason to a crazy world ? She is right to follow her impulse; there is nothing to guide her but impulse. She is right to seize on life while she can, when all is uncertainty. You understand it ro clearly now. remembering the war when you were young. Besides which, there is the girl’s own character to help her. And the character of young girls in general today is very fine. They have a far deeper insight into comradeship than ever we had. They are not selfless, but we were more self-seeking. Moreover, they can agree to differ in opinions and yet remain friends. We could not. Do you recall all that talk about give and take which you and I had preached at us so*much? Well, it’s natural to them. They have been bom tolerant. They co-operate eagerly and are altruistic in practice as well as in theory. Their state of health may have something to do with it, they are a sturdy lot. The rules of hygiene have improved since our day, so has medical attention. On the other hand, your daughter may make a brilliant and happy marriage. And, in any case, if the companionship between you has been real, a certain amount of understanding on the true values of life and the maintenance of good relations between people will have passed into her. Who are we all-wise elders, anyway, that we should talk of “when there is peace”? It is the next generation who will have to bear the brunt of that peace. Send your girls out into the world, as they grow old enough to go. There lies their best security. It is only right that they should share the nation’s struggle to the full during war, if they are to help build the nation up later during peace. The sort of employment to be found in Government service will afford experience in careers that will still be useful during peace—nursing, the land, mechanics. It may be that they will pass through experiences we would rather they did not have. But we cannot protect them from every blow, only help them to their feet. Yes, if we came through the last war, they certainly should come through this one.