THE PASSING SHOW

Waikato Times, Volume 125, Issue 20917, 23 September 1939, Page 13 (Supplement)

THE PASSING SHOW

COMMENT AND CRITICISM (By “Free I-ance”)

HAVING RECEIVED through the post a white feather (at least it would have been white if the hen hadn’t been moulting at the time), “ Free Lance” wishes to announce that he is at present shivering with the dawn patrol “somewhere on the coast,” and the Passing Show is being conducted by his aged grandfather. Many people are now convinced that “pact” should be spelt “packed.” If you have never seen a picture of Hitler as a baby, try to get hold of one. It explains everything. * * • • W T e understand there is a possibility that the United States may remain neutral in the present war. • • • • A Wellington writer is the first to call attention to the Irish pronunciation of the German Chancellor’s title—The Furore. * * * * The petrol situation has so far brought to light four substitutes, producer gas, natural gas, kauri peat gas, and shoe leather. • * « • More evidence of the war from a Wellington newspaper—Young Invercargill man, stranger, car, would like companion, motoring, pictures. * * • • A boxing match in the New Zealand championships at Invercargill lasted five seconds. There were two hits; one man hit the other and the other hit the floor. Nervous prostration is imminent. Map spread before us, national flags in hand, we have spent frantic hours trying to locate Icz, Licz, Flicz and Spflicz; Luxembourg, Offenburg, and Iceburg; Omsk and Tomsk, Odz and Evenz. We had the whole thing fixed up when suddenly the Russian troops moved. That was confusion worse confounded, but when we were told that the Reds were fighting the Poles in order to help them, and that Russia, though at war, was still neutral, we began to agree with the Pope—that it was most upsetting.

The Nazis have done terrific damage with their bombs, but Russia seems to have done even more with a single bombshell. * • • • It is unofficially suggested that when Hitler is captured he should be thrown into the ring with Prince Bhu Pinder. We were not a little embarrassed when our Aunt Matilda read out that item about the Indian tribesmen being bellicose, and asked if that meant they were cannibals. Cabinet Ministers keep urging us to grow more vegetables in the kitchen garden. We say let them give a lead by bringing wet weather, slugs, white butterflies and toolborrowing neighbours under the Emergency Regulations. ° • • • Mrs Roosevelt, In a statement to the Press: “Nobody knows whether this cowntry can keep out of the war.” Doesn’t she listen to her radio or rea4 the papers? • • • e “Hori” went into a Hastings store last week to buy benzine. He was told that he must give proof of legitimate, essential business. He replied: “I must have the car to go and register for social security, and I’ll need it again on Thursday to go and collect. That all right?” • • • • Some people are suggesting that the Fijian Rugby team should play a match with the All Blacks. Such a fixture at a time when we are trying to regain confidence in our Rugby strength would be fooLhardy in the extreme. • • • e The Maoris of North Auckland think the troops should be called Hoko Whitu a Tu, and not the Treaty of Waitangi Battalion. It may sound different to the Maori, but this humble pakeha thinks that neither “Onward, the Hoko Whitu a Tu!” nor “Onward, the Treaty of Waitangi Battalion!" is a particularly rousing battle cry.