The Passing Show

Waikato Times, Volume 124, Issue 20786, 22 April 1939, Page 15 (Supplement)

The Passing Show

(By ‘‘Free Lance”)

ASSURANCE by Mr Savage that the Big, Bad Wolf is not waiting around the corner will be welcomed. And now what about an assurance about the House of Straw? (Apologies to Walt Disney.)

It seems that Mr Lee’s open letter is now a closed book.

Our farmers stood up to the drought conditions nobly. Dry-hards!

Members of the nudist club at Dunedin are reported to spend much time knitting. What for?

Greta (“I am so tired”) Garbo is said to have earned 472,602 dollars in 1937. Must be a tiring job, looking after all that cash.

If that boycott really takes place Jeanne and Jacques will be going without their winter woollies.

Use of headlights in dust is said to make for greater road safety. Use of heads in and out of du,st by some motorists would make for still greater safety.

Apple-juice, states a report, may provide a substitute for alcoholic drinks in Germany. Already, from all accounts, the Nazis consume vast quantities of applesauce.

A London paper announces that Queen Salote, of Tonga, proposes to construct a naval and air base. It fortifies New Zealand courage to see that neighbouring maritime and air powers are as much in earnest as we are. • • • •

“ What a dull life it would be if we had to be content with reading, say, the leading articles in the newspapers.”—Mr Savage. Or listening, say, to broadcast political speeches.

Latest craze in Hamilton is “ Sticks.” Believe it or not, host, hostess and guests squat on the floor and spend a whole evening picking up little sticks. That’s all. There’s nothing else in it. Life has completed its cycle. Soon they will discover how to rub the sticks together and make fire.

COMMENT AND CRITICISM

No, Oscar, you cannot tell a man’s age by the number of rings round his bath.

“Marriage late in life has its advantages,” says a writer. There’s less of it anyhow.

Old Tiger Clemenceau used to say that in war oil is as necessary as blood. However, these days it seems more expensive and difficult to obtain.

• • • • As our office poet suggested, one swallow may not make an English summer but the prospect of a swallow makes a German spring. • • • •

Life is full of contradictions. No sooner did I finish reading about the record Easter weddings when I came across a report that the holiday angling was disappointing. • • • •

Cable note: The Polish Ambassador to Germany, M. Lipski, has gone to Warsaw. Presumably the Nazis informed him they wanted no lipski from Poland.

It appears that the Party expressed confidence in the Caucus, the Caucus expressed confidence in the Cabinet and the Cabinet expressed confidence in the Party. Is this the modern version of the confidence trick?

Reichfrauenfuehrein Gertrud ScholtzKlink, described as “the perfect Nazi woman,” is said to wear her hair in two plaits coiled over her head, no make-up and no nail varnish. She dresses in simple, black shoes, dark stockings, black cape and a black tailored suit. No doubt to the Reichfrauenfueh . . /;!? ooh-£ (typewriter broke down) sex appeal is the name of a new breakfast-food. But, boy, what a typist she’d make (says my wife). • • • •

“A well-informed official” expects that “the logical team” for the Davis Cup in Australia will not become the actual team. When did logic and actuality ever go together? Ask Mr J. A. Lee whom he considers to be the logical Prime Minister. Is it logical bo extinguish a bush-fire when it starts or after it has finished burning? A grand bit of illogical taxation is to extract a man’s social security tax before he ever sees it, and then tax him on it. Logic? I don’t believe there’s no such thing.