The Passing Show

Waikato Times, Volume 124, Issue 20775, 8 April 1939, Page 13 (Supplement)

The Passing Show

COMMENT AND CRITICISM

(By “Free Lance”)

T KNEW there would be another “ week ** 1 soon. “ Rat Week ” is to be held at Auckland later this month. Some Hamilton people I know would like to organise “ Anti-dust Week ” or “ Down With All Motor Trucks Week.” • * • • Viscount Runciman has arrived in the Dominion. Now’s your chance, you Sudeten New Zealanders ! * * • • Imported shirts, states a Wellington report, have been drastically cut. With winter coming on, too ! Germany has apologised to Belgium for recent radio broadcasts. Unlike Mr Savage, who says he will apologise to no one. More people travelling by rail this Easter. But the divorce statistics show that many others went off the rails. Was it the Spanish War or the War in Spain that finished up the other day, asks Aunt Jennie. From a Hamilton school this week: Bigotry is an obstinate attachment to more than one wife. ° * * * There has been argument at Matamata whether a tomato is a fruit or a vegetable. Oscar says in his young days it was a missile. General Skwarczynski states that all Poland sees a great crisis approaching. A spelling crisis among some of our modern history students can also be predicted. * * « » Mussolini is said to have “ left the door open ” to France and M. Daladier to have “ left the door open ”to Italy. My fervent hope is that the door has one of those anti-slam gadgets on it. • • • • Did you read about the hunter down south who stalked a deer into the sea ? That often happens at Waihi Beach, or Tauranga, only the prey wear abbreviated bathing suits, lipstick and rouge. m * m 0 Reviewing the Spanish War, Aunt Jennie says one of the most satisfactory features was that throughout the campaign she was able to secure her regular supply of Barcelona nuts. • • • • “ The diversion of 30 gallons of milk to any school in the district equals 25,0001 b of pig feed or the loss of 6000 1001 b pigs,” states a pig extension officer in the North. And just imagine what beautiful porkers we could breed if we banned milk to the kiddies altogether !

Maybe it should be renamed the Faulty Hour Week. • • • • It is said the composer of many American crooning songs we hear over the air is stone-deaf. Still, that’s no excuse. • • • • Maisie the maid supplied a new definition the other day. A gentleman, she said, ia a man you don’t know very well. • • • • “It is easy to earn twice the money you are getting,” runs an advertisement. I am already doing it. • • • • Germany is said to have renounced all claims to Danzig. In that caste we can expect the Nazi occupation of Danzig anytime now. • Motorists are complaining bitterly about the third party risk but they' should remember that every newly-married couple faces it. • * • • And then there was the Scotsman who took a girl for a taxi ride. She was so beautiful he could hardly keep his eyes on the meter. • • • • There is, I believe, no truth behind the rumour that the spinsters are responsible for that move in Australia for a compulsory male register. • • • • Green and leathery types of turtles are absolutely protected, according to a recent Gazette notice. Now what about some protection for taxpayers of the same species ? • • • • After Defaulter’s little effort in Sydney last Saturday New Zealand owners should rename their horses. Some suggestions: Hopeless, Can’t Win, Washout, Dopey, Failure, Inefficient, Slowcoach, Lastup. 0 o*o Regret has been expressed that there is no Esperanto Club in Hamilton. However, some of our residents, I understand, use language that would be understood anywhere in the world. They live on the routes taken by the lorries. Our fastest mental advance, says Mr H» G. Wells, happens between the ages of 14 and 25, or maybe 26. That is so. At 21 a young man is apt to think that he knows everything, and at 25, or thereabouts, he is confirmed in that assurance. Then follows a long period of retrogression, lasting 40 years or so, and by the time a man has reached 60 he can only confess his dullness and ignorance, looking with admiration at the lads of 22 in their full panoply of wisdom.