BEHIND THE LEGAL SCENES

Waikato Times, Volume 118, Issue 19765, 21 December 1935, Page 15 (Supplement)

BEHIND THE LEGAL SCENES

J. L. Hammond in Manchester Guardian.

LORD CARSON and the late Mr Tim Healy, K.C., had • many wnrdy battles when they were both practising at the Bar. In Memories of a K.C.’s Clerk Mr Francis' Pearson recalls an occasion when Lord Carson scored off “ Uncle Tim,” as he was affectionately known. 'lt Weis'part of Tim’s pose not to affect the slightest interest in what his opponent was saying. Sometimes he would deliberately pretend to be immersed in a book. Carson, concluding his opening, had called his first witness, when jt.wa;s. discoyeped. that the Testament \\as missing. Uncle Tim was found to be reading it! Rescuing the Book, Carson said: “I expect Mr Healy mistook the book for a recent publication.” This to Tim, who was a fervent Roman Catholic, was neat. ■ Another story of Tim Healy concerns the time when he was Governor-General of the Irish Free State. He was holding a review, and as the men passed in front of the Vice-regal Lodge, a lady remarked on the number of Generals there were in the Free State Army and asked the reason therefor. “It’s a hereditary rank,” said Tim acidly—

"Their Mothers Were All Generals.”

Mr Pearson’s many years behind the legal & f " en< vj have given him the opportunity to hear much laughtei in court \n extremely flashily-dressed man once stepped into the witness-box in the late Mr Justice Brays court. Counsel rose to examine:— , . 5n “Is your name Mr Blank, and are you the plaintiff m th Swelling out his chest like a fan-tailed pigeon, witness answered: “I Ham.” "You are at present residing at s Hotel. "And you are the Chairman of the Non Compos Mentis Beef Co., Ltd.?"

Wearily Bray J. turned to the witness and murmured. “And a very well-dressed Ham you am, too.” Another time Mr Justice Bray was presiding over the assizes at Guildford: — ~ "I am now going to call Miss Smith, said Counsel, • who went on the explain that Afiss Smith was the decayed gentlewoman mentioned by a previous witness. ißray’s immediate retort was: "Usher, open all the Mr Pearson once lost a hook in the late Mr Justice Joyce’s court. He was making rather a noise looking for it, and the Judge asked what was the matter: ' "He’s lost a hook, sir,” explained the usher. A twinkle came into Joyce J.’s eye. A judge who can joke in a Chancery Court is a first-class humorist, and Joyce J. lived up to his reputation. “A book!” he said, in a surprised tone of voice. Only a book! Why, people Lose Suits Here Every Dky.” The late Mr Justice Avory had his moments of humour. lie was once hearing a slander case in which two women were involved. - Amongst other things each had threatened to pull off the other’s street door knocker. Don’t ask why! One lady (the defendant) hid actually said: I will pull your b knocker off.” Here Avory J. intervened: “We must differentiate between these knockers, he said gently'.- "The plaintiff's street door knocker will be knocker ’A,’ since it is obvious that the defendant s must be knocker ‘B.’ ” But more often his grimmer side was uppermost. On one occasion he sentenced two young men to eighteen months’ imprisonment for robbery with violence, thinking they had escaped lightly, they smiled contentedly. But Avory noticed the smile, and made a gesture to the warders to bring them back. For a moment Sir Horace consulted a small square of Pine paper which old hands know to he the medical certificate from the doctor of the prison where a prisoner has been incarcerated, awaiting trial. “Eighteen months’ imprisonment with hard labour," murmured Justice Avory, half to himself. Suddenly the grim mouth tightened to an even grimmer line. Like a crack of a whip lash his voice rang

Do Not Trifle With The Court!”

WIT IN COURT :' SOME DRAMATIC INCIDENTS.

•through the court: "And ten strokes each with the cat-o’-nine-tails.” . , . . , . . Mr Pearson says that the most phlegmatio barrister he ever worked for was Air Kenworthy Brown, the authori y on Indian Law. On the night of the Silvertown explosion during the War Air Pearson was .working in chambers m Temple Gardens. The chambers overlooked the Embankment, and the window of the 'Clerk’s office was fitted wi i wooden shutters secured by a heavy iron bar. There was a dull roar. The building rocked. The shutters burst open with a clang'and I was pitched clean out of my revolving chair. ~ Suddenly Mr Kenworthy Brown's bell rang. I too* off the receiver and a quiet voice murmured.— "Please do not bang the cupboard door!’ On one occasion a girl was suing for damages for personal injuries before Air Justice Rigby Swift, and it was contended that as a result of the accident she had lost her sense of smell. _ In his summing up, Swift J., touching upon this disability, remarked that it had a few advantages, but also many disadvantages, one of which was that she was not able to smell flowers. A loud titter ran round the court as all eyes turned towards her counsel, Air John Flowers, K.C. The late Air Justice Day,' we are told, , had little knowledge of life as it was lived in classes different from his own. In one case, when a question of time was involved, a builder’s labourer was called, and swore that the accident must have happened “between the hours of noon and 12.15 p.m., as he was on his way home to

dinner. . ~ Day treated this witness to a freezing glare. Don t talk nonsense,” he said sharply. "How could you be on your wav to your dinner at the hour of noon? It is common knowledge that in this country nearly everyone dines between 6.30 and 8 p.m. Be careful, sir, and

A hot-tempered K.C. was Mr Danckwerts, and he did not hesitate to say what he thought to anybody. Mr Justice Ridley was his bete noir, and I have heard him say things to Ridley (who was known as Mr Justice Necessity since necessity knows no law!) which would have got any other man disbarred: Once he flung his papers on the desk and shouted: “There are three people with whom it is impossible, to argue—little children, damned fools, and some judges. Old criminals often know exactly which barrister among those present in court, to choose to defend them. Sometimes their method of selection raises a laugh.,, One prisoner, on being invited to select his counsel, said. Well, I usually 'as Mr Abinger" (the brilliant defender of Stinie Alorrlson), “hut seeing as ’ow ’a ain’t ere, 111 ave is mate —the bloke with the fat neck." 1-Ie was lucky. r fhe “bloke with the fat neck” got him off. ~ _ Among the people who habitually frequent the Law Courts are some who are eccentric, to say the least of it. One old lady used to haunt the Lord Chief Justice’s court in the days of Lord Russell of Killowen. She used to ask for a Warrant Against Mr Gladstone 1 for attempting to poison her, and she would produce a bottle of dirty water as evidence. Russell of Killowen, an Irish gentleman to the fingertips, would courteously inform her that warrants against Air Gladstone were not being Issued on that particular da}, and that the application would have to be renewed on some future occasion. Whereat the old lady would bow most gracefully and murmur, in the best professional manner, “If your Lordship pleases.” Russell of Killowen would return the bow, and the old lady would rustle importantly from the court. But when she tried Lord Russell’s successor, Lord Alverstone, she was ordered out of court. So she threw the bottle at him! A barrister’s clerk, says Air Pearson, “is to his ’ Chief as Alan Friday was to Robinson Crusoe." Judging from his book, a clerk’s life seems to be an arduous one, though always interesting. Air Pearson writes about it all lightly and with knowledge.