SOME AMUSING STORIES.

Waikato Times, Volume 118, Issue 19762, 18 December 1935, Page 22 (Supplement)

SOME AMUSING STORIES.

What is a Censor? She: “What is a censor?” He: “A censor is a person who can see three meanings to a joke that has only two.” Not Enough Shot. “The trouble with Hollywood is that too many films are shot, and not enough directors,” said Lord Lee of Fareham, in London recently. I Slept Through It. Producer: “Good heavens! That suit looks as if it had been slept in.” Critic: “It has. I wore it at your premiere last night.” Of Course Not. An amateur dramatic society was giving a show, an affair with royalty in it. ‘'Come,” said the actor, who was playing the king, “let us go into the ’ouse.” There was a titter from the boxes. , “He said ’ouse,” an occupant remarked. The actor, overhearing, turned to the offender. “Yus, I said ’ouse —do you think a king would live in hapartments?” Public Enemy No. 1. Lord Lee of Fareham, in a recent speech —in London, described speakers and crooners as “public enemies Nos. 1 and 2, who ought to be put against a wall and shot.” Lily Langtry in a Temper. Stories of famous theatrical stars are =recalled by'Mr H. J. Snelson, the English theatrical manager, who the other day celebrated 50 years’ association with the theatre. One of Mr Snelson’s most piquant memories is of Lily Langtry in a temper. When he was a call-boy he had been asked to get her a brandy and soda, with ice. When he brought it to her, she said: “Whatever is in this?” He had brought her a drink in which salt mixed with ice had been put. “There was such a row,” recalled Mr Snelson; “Miss Langtry nearly boxed my ears, but afterwards she laughed and gave me a nice little tip.” Realism. “Our scenic artist made a magnificent job of the boating scene,” observed the amateur actor; “in fact, the sea was so realistic that our heroine turned quite sick at the first performance.” “That’s interesting,” responded the listener. “I had a similar experience as a member of the audience. .1 turned quite sick at the first performance.” Recollections.

Radio comedians who laugh at their own jokes probably are thinking how tickled they were the first time they heard them.