UNDERCURRENTS.

Waikato Times, Volume 110, Issue 18518, 24 December 1931, Page 6

UNDERCURRENTS.

HERE, THERE & EVERYWHERE. (By “Gleaner.”) A TRUE STORY. A five-sealer car piled high with luggage was searched by the police at a small township near Hamilton on Tuesday. It was thought by ' the "limbs of tiie law” that tiie prisoner who escaped from Auckland Hospital on Sunday might be secreting himself somewhere. After the car had been thoroughly ransuuKed it was discovered that it belonged to a Supreme Court judge.

STAMPS AND PUDDINGS. According to a statement issued by tiie United States Post Office, “the dextrine used in the manufacture of stamps issued in one year" would, if “made into tapioca pudding," be sufficient to “serve dessert to the entire population of Greater New York City for one meal." The office boy when he read this got busy with figures and reckons that when he lias licked 1,036,238 more stamps he will have consumed the constituents of an eggeupful of pudding. He is now working out how many stamps Hamilton would have to lick to provide a dessert for itself. The chief difficulty, he states, is to allow for the unknown quantity of stamps made adhesive through sponges, etc., a practice which, he adds, means the loss of a quantity of food to man.

He also suggests that different values of stamps should have different flavours so as to make his work mors interesting. • 4 • • A MAN OF MEANS. Unlike most scientists Henry Cavendish, whose centenary has just been celebrated, suffered from a complaint exceedingly rare just now—he had an overflowing bank balance. There came a time when his bankers grew rather disturbed by the size of his current account, and their concern was increased because few men were more difficult of access than this most taciturn member of a taciturn family, who, according to Brougham, “probably uttered fewer words in the course of his life than any man who ever lived to four score years, not at all excepting the monks of La Trappe.”, It was useless to write to him, since he did not answer letters, and at last in despair the bankers sent an emissary to interview him at his laboratory.

The representative did sucoeed in obtaining access, and proceeded to explain that this very large sum of money was lying idle and that the time had come when it really ought to be invested In some security which would put the capital into useful 'circulation. Cavendish listened patiently to the discourse, and then made one of those very pregnant short speeches which come sometimes from very taciturn men. He said that If the bank ever dared to trouble him again on such a matter he should at once withdraw his account and place it elsewhere. * * • • - TURBANED TOPERS. The imbibing of cocktails seems to be rather a serious business —If one may judge by the account of a parade of “cocktail suits” at a London West End dressmaker’s. Several of the suits had turbans to match, and one of them included “a large barbaric ring over each ear and a string of big, multi-coloured wooden beads." If this tendency is developed it will soon be most improper to appear at a cocktail party without your tom-tom or scimitar —or possibly the habit of wearing a jam-jar or old bottle of trade gin tastefully attached to the lobe of the left ear will become tres oornrae it faut.

However, the tendency seems to supply those who don’t like cocktails with an excellent excuse for avoiding them. “Will I have a cocktail? Oh, my dear, how could you suggest such a thing? How could I possibly manage a Martini when I haven't got my turban with me?”

In the meantime it may be a relief to some people to know that beer is still being drunk in bowlers, and the sole note of ornament and relief—an old English watch-chain stretched across the waistcoat —is at the discretion of the Individual Imbiber. The fez, wimple, tam-o’-shanter, and calash are frowned upon in most fourale bars, where they are regarded as somewhat effeminate and unnecessary refinements. * * * THE LAST RESORT. [According to a message from New York “the discriminating woman today goes in for perfume to suit the hour, the occasion, and the mood, as well as her personality. The. result is that on her dressing-table is an ar 7 ray of bottles sometimes as many as forty. In the morning the smart fashion is for single-flower odours—lilac, rose, sweet pea, lily of the valley—according to the wearer’s fancy. For luncheon and afternoon the vogue is for bouquet fragrances. The late evening hours and the moonlight call forth ’the Oriental, the indefinite, the challenging’ perfume.”]

Oh, think of the lady surrounded By such an extensive array Of essences duly compounded To serve through the arduous day I In the morning she deftly discloses The simpler resources at hand, And an odour of lilac or roses Is all that her mood will demand. Bui then when the morning is ended A lloral bouquet is correct; By various bottles well blended She aims al a cocktail effect. But,, oh, she deserves a diploma, For dinner’s effect is unique— A "challenging” ‘Eastern aroma, All Asia wrapped up in one reek. And yet, though they’re mado in a jiffy, These changes must leave, so to speak, The patient decidedly niffy Al the end of a strenuous week; 11 might be remarkably telling To add lo tin’s perfumed routine A balli —and emerge from it. smelling ror once in a way merely clean. Lueio, in Hie Manchester Guardian,