CENTENARY OF WAIKATO.

Waikato Times, Volume 108, Issue 18167, 4 November 1930, Page 9

CENTENARY OF WAIKATO.

(To the Editor.) Sir, —The letter of “Interested'’ ,in your issue of Saturday is timely. Almost word for word it has exercised the minds of one or two of us for mbnths past. But I have discovered tlie secret of this uncanny silence. Impelled by some mystic power I consulted the shade of Holmes (he was in attendance on Doyle at the time). It appears that our worthy Councillors are sorely troubled and divided amongst themselves —some wanting one thing and some another, and “Old unhappy, faroff things, and battles long ago,” have no interest for these moderns — none whatever. Some little time ago i-Jis Worship was provided with a coat 'of ■ many colours fittingly cut; but in the excitement of the moment a new coat of arms for our embryo city was overlooked; and, hastily remembered, the securing of a suitable design has been the cause of much intensive and secret discussion for months and months.' My friend the Ulster King at Arms of the local College of Heralds has just given me anexclusive outline of the suggested design. As it appears so eminently suitable I feel that your widely-read paper should give it publicity. Here it is: A shield central, emblazoned, on which are a milch cow (placid), on a field vert, crossed by a. snaky line (a river), topped by a towerless ecclesiastical barn with a Bishop’s mitre (ardent) set on top at 'an angle rakish; supported on the right by a pakeha figure breeched and frocked (aggressive), holding in the fight hand a crooked stick, menacingly; and on the left a Maori wearing a feathered toga, of featu're tattooed and tongued) tiaha clutched in the left hand extended—the whole with feet crushingly resting on a two-headed (the one bianco the other brun) figure bent double (pace ye antient and classichAtlas), while the other faction within the secret conclave is loudly (it is said?) voicing its annoyance that Professor Hornell (not forgetting hrs able lieutenant) was allowed to leave our shores without having been consulted as to the cause of the -cracks (holes) in the town approach to the railway bridge footway. Long suffering residents of the delectable borough of Claudelands say that although a Mayor and sundry Councillors dwell amongst them, they never walk that way, having lost the use of their nether limbs by riding to business in a fast-moving and weird contraption yclept an automobile. I learn that some year or so ago the Council (or its ‘departmental head’) had a brain wave and strewed with much labour and confidence, some sand on the aforesaid holes; then in a fit of economy (a word much in the wind just now) swept it up again; or rather what residue-the inconsequent wind hadn’t blown into ithin air—no doubt to patch some other hole to keep the wind (and incidentally the rain) away. Just recently the brain wave swept o’er them (the Councillors I mean) again and some -of the holes were re-doctored — • but “ There comes a shower and a blinding rain, and life is never the same again.” Much to the chagrin of the elderly and the old who, unlike the more active flappers of both sexes (and neuters), cannot climb the railing to circumvent the lake where “ Wood and water meet, plank and pathway greet.” But why worry . . . Life hath its compensations, and these little things only come to try us—and stimulate invention; for not even the American language of the talkies can vie with the new, vivid and wonderful words being added after every shower to the flexible vocabulary of the Claudelanders — dressed as they are —in the quality of mercy that is not strained when they step into a muddy pool that soaks the shoon and bespatters the sox of both the good and the unco good alike. — I am, etc,, OBSERVER. Hamilton, November 3, 1930.