The Humorous Side of Christmas.

Waikato Times, Volume 107, Issue 17994, 12 April 1930, Page 16 (Supplement)

The Humorous Side of Christmas.

AT CHRISTMAS time, when everyone is merry, the humorous side of the great festival appeals to us, and we see, or fancy we see, fun in everything. Even the great annual “selection” dilemma has its quaint side. Who shall be asked to the Christmas party, and how are the various people to be entertained? Every member of the household old enough to express an opinion puts in a claim for his or her particular friend, and then there follows the inevitable discusison, for somebody is sure to take umbrage at the inclusion of certain folk while others are not invited. If Uncie George is asked, then Uncle Jack must be left out, lest, as Aunt Jane so wisely puts it, there should he “another piece of work." It is universally agreed, however, that an artist should be invited to every Christmas party, for artists are always “funny people”—that is well known. In tins -connection there is a Christmas story which is perhaps worth telling. A Tale of a Pudding. Two not over-flourishing bachelor artists who were great friends lived within a stone’s-throw of each other, and just before Christmas one of them had a piece of luck —he sold a picture. His friend met him at the grocer’s, and was astonished to And Lhat the lucky one was buying the materials for a plum pudding. For nearly a week he waited, hoping to be invited to the feast on Christmas Day, but no invitation came, irritated by this unfriendly act, he determined to “drop in unexpectedly” on the 25th about dinnertime. Now it happened that the lucky artist, whose name w’as Fred, had made only a small plum pudding, just large enough for one, and when his friend Jack dropped in he was in a bit of a dilemma, and not over-pleased, yet he could not avoid asking so close a friend to stay to dinner. All went well until the plum pudding was placed on the table; and as it was a very small one Fred cut it into two

(By E. C. Warwick.)

portions, but purposely he cut one portion much bigger than the ojther, and, pushing the plate across to his friend, said affably, "Help yourself, | Jack, old man,” hoping, of course, that out of politeness Jack would take the j smaller portion, which was nearest to | him. To big astonishment Jack reached across and took the larger portion, and tradition says that for the remainder of that meal there was a chilly silence. Letting the Conjuror Down. Amateur conjurors often unwittingly add to the merriment at Christmas time, for their tricks sometimes fail to “come off.” There is a story of an amateur conjuror who was going to perform the old trick of boring into a hoy’s elbow with a bradawl. The bradawl was, of course, a special one, so constructed that when the point was pressed against anything the stem, which was iitled to a spring, disappeared into the handle. The hoy chosen as the “victim’,’ had been informed how the trick was to be performed so that he might not be frightened; but when the conjuror said: “Now, ladies and gentlemen, I intend to drive this awl right into the hoy’s elbow,” the lad began to lose his nerve, and, to the astonishment of the assembled company, he shouted out: “No you don’t; I believe that’s a real bradawl, and not a faked one.’’ R/listaken for a Burglar. Particularly in country houses it is the fashion to tell “creepy" stories at Christmas time, and some of the guests retire to bed “all of a jump." When people’s nerves are on edge in this way they sometimes make curious mistakes which cause much mirth in the morning. There was, for example, the visitor to a quiet Devonshire country house who retired to rest after hearing all the local Christmas legends. About midnight he fancied lie heard a noise in the kitchen, and not liking Lo rouse the house he crept down to

investigate. Opening the kitchen door he came upon a scene which almost caused him to cry out in alarm. Bound , to a chair was the footman, struggling violently, while in front of him stood a rough-looking man, who kept saying: “Now you get free if you can!" Horrified, the visitor fled.and aroused the whole house, but when the guests arrived, armed with pokers, revolvers, and sticks, the footman, now unbound, calmly explained that that he was an amateur conjuror and was practising the rope trick, whilst the gardener, who had bound him up, was enjoying his struggles to free himself.

POOR THING ! Why did the tap run? Can you say? Enough to make it run away, For it was terrified, I think, Because it saw the kitchen sink!