LITTLE LAUGHS.

Waikato Times, Volume 107, Issue 17994, 12 April 1930, Page 16 (Supplement)

LITTLE LAUGHS.

NO, INDEED. Diner: “Here, Waiter, this egg isn't half cooked!” Waiter: “Well, you didn’t want it half cooked, did you, sir?" HEATED DISCUSSION. An American staying in London has had 100 valets in two years. Presumably he was a Nero to them. SLIGHT DIFFERENCE. “This is a warm doughnut; step on it,” read Timothy aloud in class. The teacher looked at the book, and saw, “This is a worm. Do not step on it." HAD TO HURRY. Sam and Bill were up a ladder, painting a wall, when suddenly the ladder collapsed. They both fell, the paint-pot following them. “Goodness!” gasped Sam to Bill, who was below him: “Hurry up; that paint-pot is catching up fast!” THE ETERNAL FEMININE. Husband: “Isn’t it sad about Mrs Smarter?” Wife: Why, what’s happened?” Husband: “She was crossing Regent Street after buying a new gown when she was knocked down by a motorcar.” Wife: “What sort of a gown was I it?” I

BETTER STILL. “ Before we were married you used to send me beautiful flowers,” said she. “And to-day,” said he, “I will send you some beautiful briquettes and soma lovely beef.” I . HER GENEROSITY. ! A young and rather raw schoolboy, on being asked at home if he had won any prizes, confessed that he -had just missed one worth half a guinea through making an error of a halfpenny in mental arithmetic. There was a disappointed silence in the family circle for a few minutes, and then his mother arose, solemnly fetched her purse, and remarked. “Sooner than our Angus should lose a ten-and-sixpenny prize all for the sake of a half-penny, I’ll pay the halfpenny myself. Here 1 you arc, and now run hack and fetch the prize.” HOWLERS. If I pass in front of my teacher I must say “Excise me.” If a gentleman is out with his wife or sweetheart he should walk on the curve. Windows should be cleaned sometimes. Windows of all the rooms should face east and west. The cleanliness of the house is always the hardest work mother has to do; in fact, 1 always like to be out of the house when it is going on in case they call upon me. . _ ,