LITTLE LAUGHS.

Waikato Times, Volume 106, Issue 17804, 31 August 1929, Page 16 (Supplement)

LITTLE LAUGHS.

Little Girl (begging) : “Please read this note."

Lady: “But it says that the, bearer is a widow with five children.”

Girl: “Oh t Daddy must have given me the wrong note—this is Mother’s.”

He: “I live by my wits.” She: “I thought you looked halfstarved."

Husband (with visions of joint of beef, etc., for dinner); "I thought we were having roast to-day, dear?" Wifey: “Yes, darling, but I’m afraid I made a hash of it.”

Smith (meeting Jones after many years) : “Yes, our old friend Brown has gone to his everlasting rest.” Jones: “What? Did he get that Government job after all?"

She: “I never drink a cocktail save upon great occasions.”

He: “What do you call great occasions ?’’

She: “Whenever I drink a cocktail.”

Mother: "I told you to comb your hair, Betty." Betty: “Yes, Mummie, but I can’t. Bobbie’s been playing at dentists, and there’s not a comb with a tooth left in!”

The family were at supper when the vicar called, so Mother had to slide the bottle under the table.

“Good evening I” she said. “It’s stormy to-night.” “Yes," replied the vicar; “no doubt we shall get some more hail.” “I don’t think you will," remarked little Willie; “Mother has just put it under the table.”

Friend: “I don’t think it is right of you to be engaged to the doctor and to flirt with the chemist."

Fiancee: “I am obliged to keep in with the chemist to decipher my loveletters.”

Customer: “I want a car—something out of the ordinary and different from anybody else’s —er —unique—cr

Salesman: “What about one for which you pay spot cash, sir?” '

Bride: “There are a lot of mistakes in this cookery-book.” Husband: “Yes, I have tasted them.”