IN THE LONDON COURTS.

Waikato Times, Volume 105, Issue 17605, 9 January 1929, Page 11

IN THE LONDON COURTS.

SOME AMUBING INTERLUDES. j t i (From London Dally Moll.) A defendant fined at Wlllesden ask- 1 ad for his costs for attending the Court. I Magistrate at Tottenham, to de- ! fendant, who kept on contradicting a witness: You must not contradict.him. The defendant: Then I can’t tell the ; truth/ 5 " '' I • « • n “I have no stomach for red tape.” ’ —Mr J. A. R. Cairns, magistrate at Thames Police Court. • a a • Man summoned at Wood Green, N„ for obtaining the dole by fraud: 1 must plead ignorance. Magistrate: Ignorance that you were at work ? Pay 40s. • • * », Wlllesden magistrate, to woman suing for maintenance arrears: What is your husband? Wife: Quite a small egg merchant. » • * • Witness at Greenwich: My wife has been a model, so I keep her as one. Magistrate: A model? Witness: Yes, a mannequin. * * * • Willesden magistrate: This child has been on half time at school for months and last week she makes full attendance. Was it sudden conversion? Officer: No, sir; the summons.

Mr Justice Eve, in the Chancery Division, ordering a winding-up petition against a fried fish business to stand over for a week: I see. one of the creditors funnily enough is Mr Haddock.

“He promised to pay when the job was done," said an undertaker suing at Clerkenwell County Court for the cost of a funeral.

Mr Registrar Friend: Do let us have a little decency of language. You are claiming for the cost of interring this man’s relative, and you speak of it as “when the job is done.”

Man at Westminster County Court I am only a layman.

Judge Sir Alfred Tobin: But you can speak the truth. Some people say lawyers cannot, but they can, and a layman is expected to.

“I don’t know about being drunk- —I knew, though, that I had one over the eight.”—a prisoner at Stratford, E.

An out-of-work debtor at Bow, E., County Court: I will pay 10s a month, my wife ought to earn that.

Magistrate at Highgate to man charged with drunkenness: What do you say the time was when you were arrested? Defendant: 9.30. The constable: It was exactly 11 o’clock.

Willesden woman: I want a summons for obstruction on my landing by mangle and bicycle. There are a few pails, pots and pans, but I say nothing about that. , « * *

“When I am not sitting in this seat as a magistrate I am the same as you or anybody else, and if the police me to ‘move along’ I always do so.” Mr Binglcy, the Marylebone magistrate, to a prisoner.

“An omnibus driver is rather an aristocrat. He gets £4 a week. Judge at West London County Court.

Man charged with drunkenness at Highgate: It was the fault of the wind. 1 put my hands on a door when the wind blew it open and left me no support. .