ARE YOU A BORE?

Waikato Times, Volume 103, Issue 17412, 26 May 1928, Page 13 (Supplement)

ARE YOU A BORE?

WHAT CONVERSATION REVEALS. (By Edith Sitwell). in these days silence is not only golden, it. is above the price of rubies. Nothing, to my mind, is worse than a bad conversationalist, unless it. be a good conversationalist, and that is a horrible 'thing. flood conversationalists (f am sure you have suffered from them at, dinner parties) are bent on wrapping up nothing whatsoever in something that will make you look silly. At least, than is my experience. Mind you, I am not advocating a Qlum and Disagreeable Sllonce. I am merely advocating the abolition of epigrams, smart conversation, and what that, most cnchantingly witty and delightful of writers Mr D. R. Wydnham Lewis once described as “wickering” about the gloomier of the Nordic writers. My ideal conversationalist, is a man or woman who has something to say and can say it, shortly and in an illuminating manner, and who has also something to be silent about, and ran he that shortly and illuminating!}’ also. The other day a certain novelist, complained to me that, the diary of a mutual acquaintance consisted of such remarks as: Tuesday. .Met Miss Tomkins. Went 'there. Came hack. Wednesday. Met Miss Simpkins. Went there. Came hack.”

Rut, I said to the novelist, we ought to thank heaven fasting on our knees for such a mercy. For consider how awful it, would be if such adventures .were given by such a mind in detail. There would be more details fall meaningless) to every episode than there are leaves on a trep. We should he told nothing, for the lady sees nothing. Rut we should be told everything with such a noise that we should be almost,.deafened. Personally, lam one of those unhappy persons, who inspire bores to the highest flights of their art. "I always say that every room should express' the personality of its owner."

"Have the Conservatives any strong men?. In my opinion, not. Have the Liberals any strong men? In my opinion, not. Has the Labour Party any strong men? In my opinion, not. At the time of the last political crisis a Cabinet Minister Told Me . . . etc."

"Naples, a city beautiful alike by nature and by art. . . . the, water supply is. unsatisfactory. Visitors are warned against indulgence in shellfish."

"In my opinion, the works of Mr fia Is worthy' are objective and not subjective." Or: "In my opinion, tbe works or Mr Galsworthy are subjective and not objective."

Pah ! In other words, I simply don't like it not. a little bit! Would you? i imagine we all enjoy conversations that reveal something, either about the world in general or about the suhjeuf in hand, or about the speaker. I admit that the foregoing sentences reveal a gread deal about Ihe speakers, but not the sort of thing I want to know. It reveals that They Are Bores, but it does not reveal their characters. And I am deeply interested in people, being addicted to liking people of all kinds. It is amusing to invent test questions May which we can arrive at some sort of conclusion about people. A splendid test qufltion is: "If you eould choose whatTiving person you would be, whom would you choose to By the answer to that question, if it is* a candid answer, we can deduce everything. Another way of discovering character i.-* to say to a larce company, taking each person in turn, "Tell me what is the most interesting thing you have ever seen." Rut then we must he prepared for suffering, since most people will reply "The Taj Mahal"— or some procession, and will proceed to tell us nothing about cither at great length.

To be frank, I like nearly everybody, but I do not like their conversation. Talk about the political situation converts me into a mental and phvsical ruin, lengthy descriptions by much-travelled people of scenes which they have looked at but not noticed are enough to drive us to drink. We are roused to wakefulness, momentarily, by people ?.vho tell us their dreams, but this is less because we are interested than because we wonder just how much Professor Freud is missing. Perhaps one of the reasons why conversation is not more interesting is that a great many people when they have passed their first youth are profoundly unhappy from one cause or another, and if we are deeply unhappy we regard either ourselves or other people as ghosts, and it is difficult to make Conversation With a Ghost, or. if one is a ghost oneself, all the while we are marking lime, waiting for a door to open or a. door to close. That is why we must be patient with our own lack of brilliance and, equally, with other people who may bore u?. They are probably longing to fell us something but do not. knowhow. It would he so curious if, suddenly, a large company told the truth about themselves: "We are so unhappy. .All this boring talk is just protective conversation, like protective colouring—conversation which is a mask to prevent each from seeing the other's misery."