FUN AND FANCY.

Waikato Times, Volume 87, Issue 13269, 26 August 1916, Page 4 (Supplement)

FUN AND FANCY.

t *♦. . Not long ago the editor of an English 1 paper ordered a .story of a certain n length, but when the story arrived' he - discovered that the author had written. . several hundred words too many. The - paper was already late in going to press r 'so there was no alternative—the story - must be condensed to fit the allotted r space Therefore the last few parai graphs were cut down to a single senv i tence. It read thus: 'Tho Earl took - a Scotch high-ball, his hat, his departure, a revolver out of his hip-pocket, f and. finally, his- life." fefc Doctor: There's the original P^P ' scription. I can't imagine how you • made that mistake in putting it up! 1 Druggist: Humph ! I must have mixed your .signature in with the other in--1 gredients. Patient: Doctor, what I need is something to *stir me up—something to put , me in fighting trim. Did you put anything like that in this prescription? • Doctor: No. You will find that in the ' bill. "Pa, what is home rule?" "Don't ask me. son. Ask yonr mother." "I think I'll start a magazine to be called 'Umbrage.' " "Why that somewhat unusual name? "People are so apt to take it." "I'm going to decorate you for bra- , very, Mr Wadleigh. Put this French, war-orphan medal on your coat." "But I haven't perfomred any deed of heroism." "But you will when you give up twenty-five cents." The man getting his hair cut noticed that the barber's dog, which was lyu»' on the floor beside the chair, had him eyes fixed on his master at "Nice dog, that," said the customer. ■ "Her, is, sir." "He seems very fond ■ of watching you cut hair." "It ain't! that sir," explained the barber. "YaJH see, sometimes I make a mistake snip off a little bit of a customer's! ear." I Foreman of theLocked-inJury (unpad-! ently): "The rest of us are agreed, and! you would see the case as we do if yon I had an ounce of brains." I Obstinate Juror (reflectively): "But! that's just the trouble. I've got mor«! than an ounce." ?§ .'m