OMINIUM-GATHERUM.

Waikato Times, Volume XLIII, Issue 3501, 1 December 1894, Page 4

OMINIUM-GATHERUM.

Wife : " What do you men have at •the club that you haven't at home which makes the club so much more attractive ?" Husband: "My dear, it is what we haven't at the club that we have at home which constitutes all the attraction." The Victorian Government propose -to "retire" two hundred telegraph messenger boys and replace them by smaller boys at lower salaries. The Victorian civil servant is now superannuated at the mature ag3 of 18. Economy can't get down much iurther than this. Latest from our loca 1 cricket field. .Smart and palpable bit of stumping. Wicketskeeper:' 'How's that?" Umpire: " Not out." Wicket keeper: " Why, he was a yard from the crease!" Umpire: "Perhaps. Bowling I'olds with, and catches is all right, but none of your hanky-panky for me." A spieler at the Victorian races found a victim in a small boy, a seller of race programmes, who first staked 2s, and finally lost £l. Upshot: Three months' hard labour for the •spieler, with a fine of £lO for trying to bribe a policeman by offering him .a pound.if he would let him make off. A workiugnian of Dresden lately proposed to register his new'born as Kobespierre Danton. The registrar declined to put down so revolutionary a name, and tbe father refused to register the child at all, except by a number. The matter wis taken before the courts, the workman was fined, .and the decision given that in mon> fcxehical States such name 3 are not .•allowable. , ■ \ The English are a peculiar people. Trade takes away a man's social .standing, but sport doesn't. An 'impecunious nobleman may breed horses and sell them and still be in -the Prince of Wales's set, but let him .sell beef or butter and he is ostracised. He may train horses for a salary, still be a gentleman. He may be a starter and still retain his social standing. But he must not go into trade—New York Tribune. It is said that the smallest painting in the world has recently been executed by a Flemish'artist. It is ■painted on the smooth side of a grain of common white corn, and pictures •a mill and a miller mounting a stairs with a sack of grain on his back. The picture is beautifully distinct, every object being finished with microscopic fidelity, yet by careful measurement it is shown that the painting does so t cover a surface of half an inch square. , Boy labour, nearly resulted in the blowing up recently of the' celebrated Waltham Abbey Powder' Mills, in England; At the cordite Works there some gravel and stones were found liiixed with the nitro-glycerine and gun cotton, and an .inquiry was held. It was then proved tdat the gravel •was placed in its dangerous position by the carelessness or riegligencejof : sonie boys employed on the night shift. A minute later the stones - would have come in contact with the kneading knives, and the result would undoubtedly have been irous. '.: ' : \.'/'■'■ i ' '■'■ ■■■'■ ; ..-.' The following is said to be a true extract from the "expenses account" of a well-known stock-broker:— . ■ ' £t. d. .Aur. 4 Advertising,for girl to , ; .. do typewriting ... 07 6 Aug. 9 Violets for new typewriter I-.'..':.!.v."' .'..'. ■• 02 0 Aug. 13 Week's salarv — typewriter ..." ... ... 2 0 0 .Aufc. 16 Roses for typewriter ... 010 0 Aug. 20 Miss Remington's sal'ry.. 5 0 0 Aug. 20 Chocolates for wife and -V - children 0 0 0 Aug. 22 B'ix of -bon-bons for \ , iMissßemington ... 100 .Aug. 26 Lunch with Miss R. ... 110 0 Aug. 27 Daisy's 'salary .. ... 8 00 Aug. 20 Theatre and supper with Daisy ' ... 6 0 0 An?. 30 Sealskins for wife ...120 0 0 Aug. 30 Silk dress for wife's mother ... '„. .. 20 0 0 Aug. 30 Advertising for young man to do typewriting 0 7 6 ; £l7O 17 6 Some noblemen i having threatened •to withdraw their subscriptions to iocal and other charities; in consequence of the passing of Sir William Harcourt's Budget, a Tiondoh paper made search to see how much the London charities would lose if those were carried out. In one case an investigation had been made, a few years ago, and the results of that were taken to save trouble. This was the Church Missionary Society, whose income is about £200,000 a year. Of .that sum 187 titled persons above the .rank of baronet contributed £(ISS 18s! 'The West London Hospital, situated in the West End, supported by voltmiary contributions, in 1893 received £ls from Tone Duke and three ladies! "That is one of the small hospitals. The Middlesex ■ ospital is a large .one, with an income of about £38,000; of this sum two dukes, three earls, two marquises, three viscounts and .eleven lords, provided £243 13s, and ten ladies of various ranks £125 9s more. The London hospital, the largest of the lot, with an income vruainlv voluntary, of something like {£90,000, received only £2-73 os from nineteen dukes, duchesses etc!

Mrs Tiptop: "I am sorry you were not at my reception last evening." Mrs'Highup (coldly)! ,( T received no invitation." Mrs T. (with affected surprise): " Indeed! It must have miscarried. I had among my guests two foreign counts." Mrs H.: "So that is where they were! I desired to engage them to wait at our dinnerparty, but the agent told me they were out." In a remote suburb of Vienna the hatred which the poor folk entertain of cyclists has expressed itself practically. Two workmen, encouraged by a large crowd, stood in ambush near a bridge, and in the course of half an hour knocked sixteen cyclists off their machines, which were damiged at the same time. The cyclists, all youths between fifteen and eighteen, took their machines on their backs, and, amid the hootings of the crowd, went to the neighbouring police station.

Anion? tbe most ourious of Her Majesty's perquisites is her right to every whale or sturgeon captured on the coast of the United Kingdom and brought to land. Both of these per* quisites date back to the days of the Norman Kings, and it appears that in the case of the whale the monsters were divided between the sovereign and his consort, the Queen taking the head in order that her wardrobe might be replenished with the whalebone needed for the stiffening of her Royal garments. Wife: " You must take me to the opera to-morrow night. Now, you needn't say that times are hard and money is scarce, and all that. Everybody else goes,, and I'm going—so there!" Husband (a smart man): "Of course we'll go. I sa at- the new prim a donna in the street to-day—the most entrancingly beautiful creature heaven ever made. Such eyes! Such hair! Such perfect features! I wouldn't miss the opera for the world! Money is very scarce, though." Wife: " If money is scarce, why didn't you say so before ? Never mind the opera. We'll go to the Old Ladies' Smyposium instead." The following extracts from two English papers give rather a doleful idea of the state of affairs there now; one says:—"Last year the glut of stone fruit was so great, that many growers in the west of England left it to ripen and decay, as it would not pay for gathering and sending up to London, nor for that 'matter to any place where railway charges and other disbursements would have to be paid, The fruit farmer now finds himself in exactly the same predicament as in 1893. To'give some slight idea of what a ruinous business plum growing is in this year of grace, there - were up* wards of 50 tons sold in Covent Garden on Saturday afternoon at a rate which, reduced into easy figures, reads 61b.for Id." The other:-" The price of bread has been reduced in Leightpn Buzzard to three'halfrpenny per 41b loaf: ,! The Union House is being sup* plied at 2|d." ' : The Melbourne Age relates a queer case of smuggling that has been brought to light in Victoria. A short time since, it is related, the Customs officials got scent of a peculiar tran* saction: on the New South Wales border, and traced the operation to a neighbouring presbytery. When the plan of campaign had been completed, a Customs officer suddenly appeared on the scene, and proceeding }o. the residence of a priest at the Roman Catholic Presbytery, he seized five sets of clerical vestments. This course was taken on the ground that these garments had been smuggled ■ into Victoria from the Sydney side. It appears that the transaction was sheeted home without leaving room for denial, and the offence having been admitted, a fine of £SO was imposed on the offending cleric, in &&>■ dition to the payment of some £l2 or £l3 duty on the garments. The Central Nevadan thus tells the story of the best paying mine property in the Nevade State : Wenban had. run the Garrison tunnel at great expense and was left a poor man, owing his creditors 150,000d015. There was not a pound of ore in sight whereby the debt might be paid. As a last rerort, with a forlorn hope, after the mine had been closed, Simeon Wenban drilled a hole in the hanging wall and blasted out a huge picse of rock, when he found it to be an almost solid block of metal, and part of an immense vein which had been paralleled hundreds of feet. The fortunate last effort marked a sudden change that seldom falls to the lot of a man. It was Wenban, the poor man, the labourer, before that blast was fired; it was Simeon Wenban, the million* aire, but a second thereafter. The first month's runof.his little mill gave him 30,000d0k, and ever since he has grown more wealthy." Starting racehorses is a fine art (says the New York Sun), and the man who fancies it is not will never bo convinced until he stands flag in hand, facing 10,000 persons, and with a dozen or so thoroughbreds, ridden by anxious jockeys, upon the. track, each rider doing his best to get an advantage over his fellows, In 19 cases out of 20 it is not the thorough-

bred that is to blame for the trouble at the post, nor is it the jockey directly, but it is the owner, trainer, or some speculator in the back ground who has told the jockey to get off in front, no matter what happens, and who has promised to pay his fine, or reimburse him for any penalty he may incur in carrying out instructions. It is all very well to sit on the grandstand and criticise the work of the starter. One must try the business himself to appreciate its difrbul • ties and its trials.

A correspondent of the Australasian writes:—l wish I could think that the following was original. An old Scot - tish squatter in New South Wales [a widower with an only daughter living with him) was taken sick, and the doctor told his daughter he would not recover. The daughter took the opportunity of placing a Bible on his bedroom table, and was delighed to see him persuing it next day. She at once wrote to the Presbyterian minister at the nearest township, and the latter started for the station. Arriving at mid day he found, to his delight, the old man seated in the verandah, not only with.the Bible in his hand,but with a pencil and paper, evidently taking notes. "I am delighted," said the clergyman, <- tosee you so profitably employed," " Yes," answered the old man, " I've just been totting up the number'of Job's sheep, and I find that Bulgoora has 20,000 more than he had,"

The Otago Daily Times says:— We have been permitted to make the following extract from a letter re* ceived by a gentleman in Dunedin from a gentleman holding a responsible position in London, who recently visited this colony:—" The actions of the New Zealand Government are causing considerable sensation in financial circles here, and in, the city plentiful abuse is heaped upon the heads of the Ministry who are trying to pass such a-bill as their last one for land settlement, and: which provided for what might be fairly termed ' the confiscation of private property.' When I left this country 16 months ago no colony had a better name than New Zealand, but now I find quite the reverse is the case, and I think that, notwithstanding all the bank failures and swindles that took plice in Australia, there is as great sus* picion , now > about New, Ztaland as about New South Wales, Victoria vor Queensland.. This is entirely; caused by an utter mistrust of the New Zea« land Governineht, I was really surprised to discover how closely people in London, had been watching the Socialistic doings of our representatives,, and the intention to borrow again very largely has also caused mistrust. Altogether, it seems to me that the Government are running themselves into a very; tight place, but so long as they can keep in power of course they do not care, and when matters come to a crisis they will per* sbnally be no worse off than they were before. This under-mining of all confidence in the colony is, however, a very serious matter, and must deter the few people with capital who would otherwise have been attracted to it." , ..,..