AN AMUSING STORY.

Waikato Times, Volume XXXII, Issue 2578, 19 January 1889, Page 2 (Supplement)

AN AMUSING STORY.

Tub Melbourne theatrical correspondent of the Otiigo Dai'}' Times relates the following amusing story: —

It is quite possible that a good rniiny of my renders may not believe this story, but it is remarkably true. There was nil enthusiastic: mooting , ol Bohemians not longago, and the wine that was not rosy went round many times. One well-known comedian had tri.t so much concealed on liia person thi:t it became necessary to him 'bat he should go to sleep. During bis slumber the othi-r boys ooneoted a wild joke and proceeded to carry it out. The comedian was carefully placed into bed, and bis face was decorated with two beautiful black eyes, au imitation fr.ictured nose, and a bump on his forehead which looked as if a tramunr had collided with him. I'be scouie artist of the company was responsible for them. A piece of court plaster was then placed over the imitation nasal fracture, and another piece over the mouth, gumming both lips together. A stranger to the victim was then enticed to become a doctor, and the fun begun. The party grouped themselves round the bed in "mournful attitudes, and one of then: proceeded cautiously to waken him. As he opened his eyes his friend felt his pulse and s:iid, "Now, don't exert yourself, and don't try to talk. The doctor siys you will lie till right if you remain quiet." The victim was {roinj; to ask what was the matter, when he felt that his mouth was closed up, and hi-? lips felt as if they belonged to an elephant. By this time it wassail one of tiiu jokers could do to keep from laughing, so, hiding his face in his handkerchief, he sobbed aloud, and said, "Great heavens, boys, but this is horrible !" At this the doctor got up, and, looking hopefully at the patient., ► aid, " Don't be downhearted, my boy. If you don't get excited we'll pull you through. I have cured worse cases.'' Then he took a pair of scissors and gently cut the court plaster on the lira. "There, how do you feel now. Don't talk much, but don't you feel relieved ?'' he asked. The victim looked at the doctor, and then at the sorrowful company, and said, " For heaven's sake Ml me what has happened to mo." The doctor again told him to bo quint, arid then whispered, " You have had the worst fight any man ever had and lived. You wore attacked going home hy a robber, but you defended yourself well, although it was il hard struggle. See here is the hand glass ; look for yourself; there is contusion of the brain, the eyes are discoloured, and I thought your jaw was broken, but as you can speak I guess it is only fractured." The victim took a long look at himself, aud the first thins he said was, " Is the other fellow alive ?" This nearly broke the boys up, but they kept their faces, and the doctor replied that the other man was alive, but that his was the worse case had ever sewed up. One arm was broken, one eye out, and he looked generally as if he had fallen from a balloon. The victim smiled n happy smile to know that be had smashed the other fellow. Then the boys ask'id had ho any messages before they loft, aud taking another pitiful look in the glass, he s,:id, with a .sort of sob, " Telegraph for my wife." This was too much, and one hujru roar went round the room. In five iniunlos the paint and plaster were oil, and the victim was wanting to kill some of those Bohemians very badly.