THE PARSON'S DINNER PARTY.

Waikato Times, Volume XXVI, Issue 2122, 13 February 1886, Page 1 (Supplement)

THE PARSON'S DINNER PARTY.

There lived in a rural district in one of the eastern counties of England, a bachelor parson of studious and retiring habits, whose sister, a middle-aged maiden lady, was the presiding genius over his domestic affairs. They having accepted many invitations to dine at the houses of the neighbouring gentry aud clergy, resolved to return the compliment. The invitations were duly written and sent to the surrounding squires and clergy, who almost all accepted for themselves, their wives aud daughters. Now it so happened that the partygiving pair were rather short of chairs, not wanting many vi an ordinary way. They were discussing the knotty point, when suddenly a, happy thought came to the sister. " Why, there are those chaira in the lumber-room which we bought at old Mr Lund's auction ; they will answer our purpose admirably." Of course the brother fell in* with the suggestion. So on the morning of the eventful day the lady had the chairs, which were seated with American leather, brought down from the lumber-room and duated, Ac. Then thinking they might be damp, and not wanting her guests to catch rheuuutum, she ordered the housemaid to give them a thorough airing, which she did by placing them near to a roaring fire. The table was laid, looking very tempting with its snow-white linen, glittering silver and glass, flowers, «3tc, and the chairs arranged in order. The guests at last arrived, arrayed in festive attire (one lady in particular sported a new satin I dress for the occasion.) After a short time they wended their way to the dining-room and took their scats around the. table. All went on merrily until the hostess gave the signal for the ladies retiring, when a gentleman attempted to rise and open the door, but consternation seized him, and he could not do so. He nude two or three quiet but ineffectual efforts to detach himself from his seat, but giving it up as a bad job he walked to the door with his chair glued to him, and put on the best face he could. Upon looking round he noticed several ladies appeared anxious, and were making vain attempts to rise from their seats, but could not do so ; others were sitting still and trying to look unconcerned. The cause of all this was the chairs that had been so effectually aired ; the great heat to which they had been subjected had softened the varnish on the leather and rendered it sticky, so that it held the occupants fast. As soon as possible those who were at liberty came to the rescue armed with table knives, with which they proceeded to cut the garments and chairs apart, with many expressions of sympathy, and trying all the time to keep their countenances, and not give vent to the pent-np laughter that was almost choking them ; but it was of no avail — they would occasionally burst out and give vent to their feeliugs during the process. When freed they presented a very odd appearance, the lady with the new satin dress losing part of it, and others gaining through having patches of leather adhering to them. Of course, the party broke up immediately, and from that time the host and hostess never gave another dinner party. It is always a sore point with them, and it is often told at other tables as a good tale by those who witnessed the occurrence.