FATHERLY ADVICE UPON KISSING BY A DUTCH SOLOMON.

Waikato Times, Volume XXVI, Issue 2119, 6 February 1886, Page 2 (Supplement)

FATHERLY ADVICE UPON KISSING BY A DUTCH SOLOMON.

Bc-jvr.^s was dull in the clothing store, <md Ike, tlie clerk, was making faces at the passing: uiils, when Solomon caught him in the act, and straightway proceeded to give him some fatherly advice. ' ' Yon you vas courting a girl, hug her tho first chance you get," said he, " und she vil dink more of you. Dat vai the reason I vas so popular mit the girls yen I vas a young man. Yon haf de men in de vorld don't haf any idea, Ike, uf de right way uf hugging a girl. Der vas shust as much art in hugging as der vas in anything else. Veu you vas courting always sit on de lijjht side uf de girl, und yen you dink de coast vas clear, shust slip your left arm around her neck, un lot it drop on her left shoulder, you know. Den you *ell de girl she vas de sveetest ding in dc vorld, and draw her up easy, Ike, until her head rests, on your shoulder. Deu put your right arm around her waist und brin «• her a lectle closer und my gra-a-cious, your toes draw up, and you vill feel so happy dot you vill shut youi eyes and dink you vas a harp mit a thousand strings. Yen you vant to kiss her, shu«t lift hor chin up easy you know, Ike, mit your left hand until you can get at her mouth mitont sticking her nose in your eye. Den you shust ki-s her lips long and easy, und before you have been dere dree seconds, you hears leetle bird* singing up in de trees, you toe beautiful flowers, und dinks you vas floating far avay. Whoop ! my giu-a cimi*, Ike, I feels, I vas a yonug man vonce more veil I dalks about it. Dakc my advice, and yen you meets a girl vot hafs money, hug her as soon as possible, nnd yen you do it, don't act a3 if you v»s lifting a raw-log."