CURIOUS EPITAPHS.

Waikato Times, Volume XXV, Issue 2043, 11 August 1885, Page 4

CURIOUS EPITAPHS.

Here lie* the body of Bkts^ ]Jm, Hhe was m> very pure within, She bu*>t her eartlilv ahell of sin, And hatched herself a cherubin. Another on a cook reads— " Peas to her ha«heH." And on an aunt— " Hito lien my pood .and gracious aunty, Wha death lv* packed in liis iioilinuity."' One on a hi ewer's tombstone ,• — Poor John Scott lies Ihipwl here, Although be was both li.vle .\m\ s-tout, Dratli 'jtintrhcd him on th(> li'ttcr l>ier, In another world he hop-, about.

A rkpokt of the il Biinwn for Ociniiiiti ahroid tstim.itus the nunil)cr of poisons born in Germany now resident m Anuiicaat 1.0(JG,7t'2 Ti-xan — ' I trust, sir, you don't mean to call me a liar?' Stranger— 'And if I did call you a liar, what would you do about it?' ' I'd do my duty under the law, sir.' ' And what's that ?' ' hold an inquest over your] remains, sir. I'am coroner here.' A VfciiY new Peer, in a moment of weakness, once thought he might boast of his ancestors. When he sat down Lord Alvaney whispered to him, ' You shouldn't ha\e said that, for they will be mtknaining you "Turnip" 'Why "Turnip?" 'Beams? they will Le s.iyiug that the best pait of you is underground.' "Now, Johnnie, ' amd the teacher, 'if yoni father boirows 100 dollars and promises to pay 10 dollars.! week, how much will he owe in seven weeks? 1 'One hundred dollais,' said Johnnie. Tin afraid you don't know your lessons very well,' re-naiked the teacher. 'I may not know my le«son very well,' Johnnie frankly acknowledged, ' but I know my father.' Mr C. is a depot agent at a village on the W< stern and Atlantic railroad. Recently there wai a new arrival at his house in the shape of a handsome boy. Mr G. wah almost beside himself with parent.il joy and excitement, and so when the iiitfht passenger tiain steamed into the village the following n the loport he sent to head qu.ii t' is —'No. 1 aimed on time, and weighs t< n pounds.' American Co's Hop Bitters are the Purest and Best Bitters Ever Made. They aro compounded from Hop*, Malt, Buchu, Mandrake, and Dandelion, the oldest, best, and the most valuable medicines in the world and contain all the best and most curathe pinperties of all other remedies, being the greatest B'ood Purifier, Livir Regulator, and Life and Health Restoring Agent on earth No disease or ill health can possible long cxi.it w here they arc used, so varied and perfect are their operations. They gi\e new life and vigor to the aged and infirm. To all whose employments cause irregularity of the bowels or urinary oigaua, or who require an Appeti/er, Tonic and mild Stimulant Aithm icnn Co's Hop Bitters are invaluable being highly eur.itive, tonic and stimulating, without intoxicating. No matt* r what your feelings or symptom-, aic, what the disease or ailment ih use Hop Bitters. Don't wait until you are si< k, but if you only feel bad or misonbJe, mo Hop Bitters at once It inn) save your life. Hundreds have been g,i\ed by m doing. £300 will be paid tor a case they will not cure or help I)y not suffer or let your friends suffer, but u hc und urge them to use American Hop Bitters. Remember, American Hop Bitters is no vile, dingged, drunk(n nostrum, but the Purest and Best Medicine ever mv T Try the Bitters to-d.iy. (<<t at Oheini or I'inggists, Bewaic f mitdtici Oenmnchns Dr Soule's name blown in bottle. i